what do you do on your anniversary?

collgwg · #1 (**permalink**) 10-23-2009, 03:43 PM

i want to go out for supper with my dh
my mum sent down 40 dollars to have supper on them and my husband wants to put the money on bills
for the past 10 years i have looked after people in my own home and raised 2 beautiful daughters one who now has a baby living on her own whe her common law and the other is going into the army as an army wife studding to become a nurse
anyway its super hard for us to go out anywhere due to haveing to provide 24/7 care
and its been 13 weeks of being stuck in the house due to back surg disk blew on either side and wraped around my ciatica
so for haveing to care for borders in my own home i have not recieved any income execpt for what my border pays i have a part time job as a cashier to make ends meet
i am unable to collect any sick bennifits im goign in on monday to see if i can now qulify now that the border is moving out
i understand money is tight but its free money and a free date night we will be married for 23 years and together for 25 years thats a huge mile stone and with the border moving out we are free to go anywhere we want and not worry about what time to be back i dont know if i can change his mind or not i sure hope so

im so happy that this fourm is here this is just what i have been looking for
for a long time now
its so helpful to vent it all out therapeutic even

**ajrsmom** · #2 (**permalink**) 12-30-2009, 08:35 PM

I think that for your own sake and well being, you and your husband should take the money and go out to dinner.

I have been in your position where every bit of money was used to pay bills. The stress that is caused by this can make things worse, not better.

If you have the chance to get away even for just a little bit, go for it! You deserve the chance to doing something nice for yourself.

**Sammi1961** · #3 (**permalink**) 12-31-2009, 04:45 AM

Collgwg, I agree with Tami and the money should be used to go out to celebrate your anniversary. We, too, are in a tough financial situation right now so I understand why your dh might want to put the money towards bills but everyone needs a break from time to time and this money was given to you to use for your anniversary so I think that is where it should go. Last year my mil gave my dh and me a $45 gift card to a restaurant and we went out for a wonderful dinner. I was thrilled to have a break from cooking! The bills will always be there but your 23rd anniversary only comes once!

**Joy** · #4 (**permalink**) 01-01-2010, 12:24 PM

I agree with everyone else--go out and enjoy the evening.
Dh and I have always gone out for supper on (or near) our anniversray. Most of the time we didn't really have any extra money to do it, but we just did.
The bills will always be there and really will the $40 really make a huge difference in them anyway?

I am glad you feel that you can vent on this forum. That is what it is here for. This is the right place to come if you need some support from other women who have been in your shoes.

Lifestar · #5 (**permalink**) 01-08-2010, 07:09 AM

I agree with everyone. This May will be our 25th. And we plan to celebrate in style. We have been saving the change from our pockets every night for years! So this year we plan to do an overnight at a lovely resort and splurge on the pocket money. Evey year we set aside some pocket change for our anniversary, even if we're juggling which bills to pay each month, cause most months we can't pay them all. We celebrate us. Just a dinner out... Look at your $40 as pocket change, and start saving today for a bill payment or another splurge that you can both agree on.

Bernice · #6 (**permalink**) 01-09-2010, 01:19 PM

January 18th will be our 13th anniversary. Usually we don't do much, because of it being after Christmas. This year, my parents gave us money for Christmas and DH surprised me with a getaway trip. We went out dinner, dancing and he got a motel room with a jacuzzi and a small bottle of sparkling wine. We had so much fun together and laughed and enjoyed each others company without any interruptions. We slept late, something we haven't done in years.

**Sammi1961** · #7 (**permalink**) 01-09-2010, 02:44 PM

Bernice, that sounds like a truly wonderful anniversary. Your dh sounds like a very romantic guy!

cau · #8 (**permalink**) 01-10-2010, 01:23 PM

Count me in agreement with going out. We always go out even if it’s to the localness shop when money is tight. It is the time to remind ourselves why we are still together and strong

Bernice · #9 (**permalink**) 01-10-2010, 04:27 PM

Well said Cau! Remembering why your together is a lot of it! We should always try and keep it fresh. Remember that time when you out the first time...getting that feeling back buts the romance flame on high.

megrayau · #10 (**permalink**) 01-27-2010, 03:38 PM

We have done everything from hotel nights to pizza picnic on the floor of the loungeroom, to a homecooked dinner.
We try to do something spcial near our anniversary each year and save the BIG stuff for the five's and 10's.
2011 will be our 25th and we are saying that we ARE going to USA. (If we say might or perhaps, then we might not!) The savings have started a little but start in earnest when school goes back next week. We will be saving every bit we can for it. If we can't afford three weeks in USA, we will at least have enough for a week somewhere!

I know what it is like to have to put almost every cent into bills and think that is when it is most important to use a treat of some sort.
I wonder what coolgwog ended up doing last year?