What Do I Say ?

sheilanfl · #1 (**permalink**) 03-23-2005, 08:59 AM

I just posted this on just gabbin & realized that it is a gp thing. My ds just called to say ddil awoke again (morning #3) throwing up. We had teased her last night that #2 was on it's way, she was not happy. They have a dd that's 2 1/2, she was wanting to wait until she was in school & they were better financially settled to have anymore (that & her first pregnancy was really rough on her) She will be picking up a prego test on her way home from work tonight & I don't know how to show my reaction, of course we are all thrilled to death as is my ds at the prospect, but for her, I don't know what to say other than we are right there for her (they live next door to us & yes we babysit) our youngest child fast tracked High School & will graduate in Dec & start college in Jan. That makes 3 in college & two older ones are already parents. What would you say to someone that you know is not going to be thrilled to be expecting again? thanks, Sheila

sheilanfl · #2 (**permalink**) 03-24-2005, 01:23 PM

She was

I was

All of us were hoping for another

except the one who had to have it & raise it

moonlight7275 · #3 (**permalink**) 03-24-2005, 05:25 PM

I understand your DDIL's feeling because my daughter (kid #2) came a year earlier than we planned. When I got pregnant, my son was just under 1 1/2 years old and we were living with my sister due to financial issues. We wanted to get our feet on the ground before even having a 2nd child, but it happened. But I have to say, when I found out I was pregnant I was both thrilled and worried. We moved out on our own after my husband got his work permit (that's the financial issue we were having). When Emily was born, I was the happiest person in the world, to know that I have 2 beautiful children. Now, Dylan is 4 and Emily is about to be 2 and they are the perfect playmates. They are so close in age that they are able to play together. It is so fun to watch them interact. Emi copies everything Dylan does and Dylan protects Emi. Anyway, my point is though we didn't want to have our 2nd child yet, we are so happy Emi came along anyway.

I guess it worked out for your DDIL anyway.

Pamela'shome · #4 (**permalink**) 03-25-2005, 08:21 AM

Beware there are false negatives out there, she still may be Pg. If she is remind her that all pregnancies are different. My first I was sicker than a dog & the second hardly any morning sickness. Never threw up that time around. If she is then it is Gods will for her to be! He works his own timeline not ours!

sheilanfl · #5 (**permalink**) 03-28-2005, 07:03 AM

My thank you's to you both; I wil still hold out hope for #2; as she has no one to help her understand sharing, etc, so it ends up a fight at daycare

And as I reminded them both, that after they are gone she will be alone w/o immediate family aka bro/sis. I hadn't ever really thought of having children, & now 5 of them here on earth 6 above sharing my grandmothers arms around each of them. I had 3 to live & my dh had 2; so we have 5. I have notice on different forums about dsc; I too come from a blended family; but knew that I would never seperate the two, we are one extremely large family, as dh ex married w/2 dd; so when we all get together for special occassions whew what expanded photo we make. ps , my "dss" which is know in our family as the youngest son not the little brother as he is taller than all of us

to him I'm short mama or shortie....I respect his mother for the fantastic way she raised her birth babies, & feel blessed to have them in our family

When my dad "dsd" passed away 18 months ago, our blended family of 45 years disintergrated. He was the concrete that made us a home. I promised myself then & there as did each child that no matter what happened to either dh or I that they had each other to share their lives & babies with. Sorry to ramble...thanks again Sheila