Joys & ConcernsShare any joys or concerns that you, your loved ones or friends might be encountering in their lives. Maybe you would just like to share something great that happened today to you, or something that is bothering you.
I am not so sure I can do this anymore. I am a 46 year old single mom of a 16 and 13 year old. I am very active in their lives: 4H, marching band, etc. We have a great time. Sure I am tired, but they keep me busy.
The problem is me. My ex walked out 7 years ago and I have been trying to hold it together ever since. I own my own home and money is tight.
I have been working steadily since I was 21 years old. In the mortgage industry. I had a wonderful job with a company for 15 years. But they closed down and it has been rough ever since. I worked 3 years one place (they shut down), 3 years another place (they shut down). Now I have been on the job a total of 4 months, and they just told me they cannot afford to keep me on.
I am depressed and devastated. Each time I have been able to pick myself up and move on. I have an awesome resume and great references. The mortgage industry is just going under.
I feel frozen like a deer in the lights this time. I am so tired of job shopping. So tired of interviews.
I have been on Prozac for 7 years and have been fine. I have a history of depression since I was 16 and I am very aware of the symptoms. Yes, I feel myself slipping...and I am scared. I have a doctor's appointment for Tuesday...
How in God's name to I go on? You need to be positive and smile at a job interview. I know I need to get out of the mortgage industry- but how??? I cannot go back to school with a mortgage payment.
Location: Originally from the Home of the only 6 times Super Bowl Champs!
Posts: 12,099
Do you have any career centers nearby where you could possibly talk to someone there about what other areas that you are qualified in?
Have you looked at places like Monster.com? You can plug in your best qualifications and the area where you live and see what other jobs are available.
Would you qualify for grants to cover school? Have you talked to the community colleges in your area?
Sadly, I don't that the job market holds any jobs that will last 10-15 yrs anymore.
I know exactly how you feel. My husband works in the airline industry and we have not been stable for years. It's the constant feeling of never knowing if you are going to have a job (a future) from one day to the next.
Please know that you have to move on. Your kids need you. You have to be strong for them. You have shown them that life goes on and have provided for them through ups and downs.
By making a doc. appt., you are taking the right steps to help your health.
To help you out, perhaps your kids could take on small jobs, too. They could babysit, walk dogs, watch pets for people while they are on vacation...etc. Whatever to make a little extra for some family spending money.
I wish you the best in your journey. If you want to talk, I am here to listen.
I agree with Tami, making that step to go to the doctor to seek help is very good.
Do you have any kind of services that can help you in your area. with gettng a job or have job fairs?
not sure how much money you are making, as I can understand not being able to met it yet making enought to not quilfy for any assistance, but if you not making it, don't be afriad to ask for assistance. This does not make you less a person or parent to get on assistance.
Would it help to sell your home and downsize to something smaller?
I can relate to your feeling, my dh does work but he has lots of health problems and we are never aware of when GOD will call him home. I work as a sub teacher as I have to be the one to get him to the doctors when he has appointments due to his eyes will not allow him to drive that much.
He is 68 of today.
We are raising our gd's by my daughter.. The gds are 8,7 and I get very very little money from thier mother to help us.
Yet with the bills we have we are on such a tight budget it hurts to sneeze for the sneeze might be bigger than what we expected and go under.
We go from paycheck to paycheck
We trust in the LORD to give us strength to endure whatever comes our way and to provide for our needs. It been tight and he almost died a few timesin the last 3 yrs
and I worry that if he goes how can I make it.
It gets tired of going up the one way street,but we know we are not the only one that this is effecting.. Many others are doign the same thing.
Things are highter, gas prices are unbelievable to even drive and we do live in the country.
Your kids needs you like our gd's needs us.
you take one step at a time and be thankful you made that step then aks GOD to help you take another step.. and another.
trying to do the big steps or more than one step at a time, is asking to much when you are depressed and feeling like you can't take no more.
relax as much as you can, even if it for 5 min a day that is just your time, make sure your kids understand that it is your time and you will Not be distribe by them, the phone or whatever.... allow yourself to unwinde.
if you like to write then write down your feelings as that helps to get stress out.
do you belong to a church? if so talk with your pastor, if not and you have a good friend talk with them...
don't hide it from your kids you are struggling to make ends met and they need to help by cuttng down on needs, and help save money too.
look at your bills and see what if there is any that you can trim down ad then do so.
know that you can do this, yes it not easy, but you can make it... and if you believe in GOD, then sweety talk to HIm.. His is the answer and HE does love you and is there to help you in your time of need to give you the strength to make it for yourself and your kids.
hang in there... and feel free to post and know that you can have friends that are right here at FC...
HUgs.
I want to encourage you be telling you that for a person, like yourself, to work steadily for 15 years and be an active single parent for 7 years, you definately have what it takes to go the long run. I know that you don't feel like it know though.
You sound overwhelmed. Before you get burned out, you need to stop long enough and strategize. Have you thought about changing your anti-depressant to a different type of SSRI or an Atypical type? Sometimes the body gets used to a drug. It may be worth at least talking to your doctor about.
Another thing that might help you is to see a counselor or talk to someone who is motivational to help uplift you, encourage you, and help you re-direct your game plan. You have teenagers, and that alone can be overwhelming, even for a parent who has the support of the other parent. I think you can do it once you get back your belief in yourself, gather some inner strength, and develop some plans for dealing with yourself, your job situation, your children, and other stressors. You can also find some books at the bookstore that might help you as well.
I want to leave you with this thought that you should write down and tape to all your mirrors if you think you will forget: You are a strong woman and you will make it through this. (If you write it down, put it in your own words and put it in the first person.) Fear is a wonderful thing. It may feel bad, but it is what God gave us to tell us to slow down or change. Use it to your benefit. It is okay to make a career change, even if it is temporary.
You sound like a terrific mom! Hang in there. Please let us know how you do. I know inside is that dynamic woman who will excel!
Daisylady
I am so sorry that you are feeling down. I hope that what the others have said will help you.
Please keep going on, I lost my mom 2 1/2 years ago and I am still affected by it. I am 44 years old and I miss her daily!! You must realize what it would do to your daughters if you give up. If you need inspiration think about them and what they will do without you.
Please use the advise given.
God bless and take care
Pat
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Patjohant
Loving wife of Dave and Step-in-mom to Nicole and now her baby Shaniah!!
Daisylady,
One thing that I forgot to mention the women here have been such great friends to me. If it weren't for some of the ones I keep in constant contact I think I may have cracked up. All of the women here have offered such wonderful support. I honestly don't know what I would do without them.
__________________ Coll
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Oh honey, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've suffered from depression off and on for several years and I know what you mean. Sometimes you can just feel yourself slipping deeper into the depression. I'm so glad you recognized this and made an appt to talk to your doctor. What did your dr say?
You didn't mention if you are getting any type of financial support from your ex. If not, don't try to do it all alone, they are his kids and he is responsible for helping to support them. If you are getting support, have you tried to get an increase in the amount he pays? One of my friends used to get a cost of living increase every couple of years.
Also, it seems like I've heard of some scholarships for single moms. It can't help to look into that if you have a desire to go back to school.
I hope you're feeling better. Please take care of yourself. Let us know how you're feeling and how the job search is going.
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Have a great day!
Mindy
Unnecessary possessions are unnecessary burdens...Chinese Fortune Cookie
Daisylady,
One thing that I forgot to mention the women here have been such great friends to me. If it weren't for some of the ones I keep in constant contact I think I may have cracked up. All of the women here have offered such wonderful support. I honestly don't know what I would do without them.
Coll, Shush!!!! This was our secret! lol You never cracked up and you never went through electroshock theropy! lol When you went through electroshock therapy, you didn't complain. lol
Thank you all for your concern. I am feeling better.
My doctor weaned me off the Prozac and I am now on Cymbalta. Although the job prospects are dim, I have had some nibbles. My current employer is very nice and is trying to keep me as long as he can.
My ex husband pays $75 a week for both children. Not much. I have tried to get it increased several times and it never works.
