Wanting A Family Yet Knowing I Can't

[Goria]

Hello? Why would you want to bring another child into this world into an unstable situation? Forgive me for being blunt....but if you were my daughter, this is what I would be saying.
The boyfriend has two children and not yet divorced...you have a child that does not live with you and is currently being raised by your mother. You would do yourself a huge favor by getting yourself straigtened out and getting some good pre-marital counselling. Four months is not a long enough relationship to make decisions that are life long and will affect you, your child, your mother, your boyfriend, his children and the list goes on.

[boggsZ]

I agree with train love the children you have and take you time on having another one.

[LuAnn]

When I read the bit in the newsletter, I thought maybe you were unable to have children.

[Deidra]

Don't rush it, him or you. It can cause major problems in the relationship, You are still probally young enough to wait a while. Be happy and live life to the fullest spoil and spend lots of quality time with the kids you do have. But if this is really important to you (to have more kids) make sure you both want the same things or don't marry him, because it will always cause ill feelings between the two of you.

[georgiaoma]

I totally agree with Goria (letter # 12). You need to do a lot of growing up before even considering having another child. You are still a child yourself or at least you sound like that. A child is a responsibility that is in your life at all times, not just when you want it to be. Some counseling would be very beneficial to you.

[BuddyBeanieBaby]

Originally Posted by Katy81

I thought maybe if I talk this out the pain will go away. I am hoping that it will at least. My boyfriend has two great kids by his soon to be ex-wife . I have a son that lives with my mom right now. I still want a child with my boyfriend even though we have only been together for four months. I know he does not want a third child anytime soon. But I do. How should I go about getting around this problem?

I think you are truly blessed with the family you have.Give yourself time to get to know your boyfriend and yourself before you have any more children.

I have 3 children and I feel blessed to have been a part of their lives.We have 5 grandchildren,our oldest granddaughter Nicole died on June 21st of this year,and still I find myself feeling so lucky to have had her in our lives for such a short time.

So take your time,enjoy the family you have now.Life is to short to start second quessing yourself and your boyfriend,he will tell you if and when he wants any more children.

Cherish every minute of everyday you see your child smile at you,tells you that he loves you,hugs you,those are the moments that you will cherish in your heart forever.

My thoughts are with you

[trainlady]

Well said and AMEN, Theresa!

Sorry to read you last a grand daughter though. How sad.

hugs, train