Hello Everyone,
Well I have been battling this question in my mind for some time now. I love my kids and my husband. But, there is something missing inside of me. I am not sure what I want to do with my life. I am a hairdresser by trade, but I am currently a SAHM. I am not sure where I need to make the changes in my life to make me happy. I have never been trulely happy with my life.
I could have the world and still fill the same way inside. I am breaking my DH heart because of this. Of course he thinks its him.... I dont know if I have so much baggage from the past that keeps me from being happy. I have made some HUGE mistakes in my life.
I got pregnant right out of high school and got married shortly after. It was awful marriage from the start. I decided to leave and ended up pregnant before I did. I finally left when my daughter was 8 months old. I left in April and by December I was engaged to be married. A year later I was pregnant again (not married) waited until she was born and married again. We have been married now for 7 1/2 years.
I think alot of my frustration is comming from never being just me!!!! I dont know who I am any more I dont know if I ever have!!!!!!!!!!!!! And by far my child hood was pretty messed up. I should be happy! I have nice cars a brand new home I get to stay at home with the kids. But something is missing inside of me. I have attended college on and off. I dont know what I want to do. I dont know what makes me tick. I am going to be 34 next month. The age issue really bothers me also.
I am going to see a psychologist soon. I am sorry for going on and on I needed to write it to feel better. Also Am I wrong for wanting privacy. Like my passwords on the computer or a diary? MY hubby thinks he should have full access to my life.
I don't know the true me, so how do I find it? 
Lisa, I am not sure why you got them back because I received them and read them and responded kindly to them... I thank you for taking hte time to write to me. I would love to become friends with you. Did you receive any of my emails? I hope to hear from you soon.
