Clean Jokes Only # 3

[bensmom526]

sending the devoted wife to DH right now..
hahhahaha

thanks for the laughs
nancy

[sandieluvsbears]

An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the

Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building,"



The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."



The blond opened his lunch and said, "bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."



The next day the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage and jumped to his death.



The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito and jumped too.



The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.



At the funeral the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or Enchiladas! I didn't realise he hated burritos so much!"

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife.

"Hey, don't look at me," she said, "he makes his own lunch."





Hugs Sandie

[danstigerangel]

hahahaha

Sandie----That's a good one.

Thanks for sharing.



Lauri

[sandieluvsbears]

Heres another cute one



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was late Saturday night and the preacher hadn't been able to think of a sermon for the next morning. About 9:00 p.m, he finally said to his wife, "Dear, I think I have come up with the perfect sermon! I'm going to give a sermon about horseback riding!"
She said, "Don't be silly! You can't give a sermon about horseback riding!" He replied, "Well, it's going to have to do because I've preached on just about every other subject I can think of."
The next morning as they were driving to church, she said, "You know, if you're going to give that silly sermon on horseback riding, I'm just going to sit in the car during the service because I'll be too embarrassed for you." "Ok, then, suit yourself!" he replied.
So, she stayed in the car. Sitting in front of the church before the service, the preacher had a sudden inspiration and gave a hell-fire and brimstone sermon on SEX, and just had the congregation in awe. As the congregation filed out of church, some of the members saw the wife sitting in the car and approached her window. "Wow! You just missed the best sermon your husband has ever given!" She replied, "Ah, what does he know about it? He's only tried it twice in
his entire life. Once on a church picnic while we were dating, and once at my father's house after we were married. And despite holding on for dear life, he fell off both times!

[musical_waters]

These are really fun jokes!!!

Here's one I heard last night:

A women went to her doctor and asked him, "Do you think I should have children after 35?" The doctor replied, "No, 35 is plenty."

[Abear]

Originally posted by musical_waters
The doctor replied, "No, 35 is plenty."

I think I'd be !!

[bar_bar]

You just awoke.....your eyes are still shut,
still can't quite focus.....still draggin your butt.
You know you need coffee.....can taste that first sip,
you wait for the maker.....and put the mug to your lip.
The feeling is warm.....just what you need,
but you know you need more....and it's something to read.
The paper you say??? No...don't think so.. not it...
It's much more exciting....you can't wait to "click"...
You boot up your 'puter......you click that icon...
Can't keep from grinning.....you're really turned on!
When the voice says "Welcome"....your heart skips a beat!!
You know you're addicted....all the friends that you'll meet.
And then you see it......you wait with a stare....
The mail box lights up!! "You've got mail" waiting there!!
OH... what a feeling!!.....you look with delight!
You hoped you'd have mail.....and you knew you were right!!
So you go thru the mail......knowing this is the "Best!"
Reading this, reading that.....as you go thru the rest.
Some you give the "delete" key.....others get your first click,
you know you must hurry.....you gotta be quick!
It is then that you hear it.....you can't wait to see,
your heart gets a flutter.....who's name will it be?
And then there it is.....covering part of the screen,
the sweet little sound.....Oh...you know what that means!!!
"Quick mail check" you promised.....you said in your mind,
but you just got an IM.....and you're pressed for time!
You know that you want to.....and respond you will,
so you stop what you're doing.....and go for the thrill!
You "LOL" and "BRB", give kisses and hugs...
You type and send words.....refilling your mug.
You give your good friend your attention and time,
so that quick little mail check.....turns to hours online!

[LovedMom]

but the several ones I did get to read made me laugh real good.
I will have to keep coming back for more. Thank you for this thread..it's been a looong time.

[sandieluvsbears]

Loved it Bar bar!! I just emailed it to a friend of mine that is just getting into computers, and is already addicted like the restof us!!
Hugs Sandie

[Abear]

This thread is now closed.

Please join us at the new clean joke thread:

http://www.familycorner.com/forums/showthread.php3?t=14824