A very close friend of mine has just been diagnosed with 2nd stage breast cancer. She is a strong person and has a very tight knit family and church community. I am devastated. I don't know what to do for her and her family, I don't know how to react, nor do I know what she needs or will need. I will be there as an ear and support, but what else should I do? My health and family problems are depressing and time consuming, and I don't have a whole lot left of me to give. My own problems seem petty almost in comparison. Have you any words of wisdom for me? I can't think straight.
__________________ We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Don't get your knickers in a knot It makes you walk funny!
The best thing you can do is to continue to be her friend and just BE THERE. Just let her talk wehn she feels like it. You don't have to have any magic words. Just being there with her will be the best gift you can give her.
Hi Cooked, call your local American Cancer Society and ask to talk with a Reach to Recovery person, they'll be able to help you or refer you to someone who can advise you and guide you through this with your friend's and your own needs in mind.
A quick card letting her know what kinds of things you can help with, even if its prayer because that is so powerful, may be enough.
__________________
Ellen in PA
"God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of love, power, and a sound mind."
Thanks Ellen and Train. I was baking some muffins and all of a sudden I just had to take some over to her. I guess it was time. We had a big hug, a good cry, a big hug and another cry and it was so healing for the both of us. I was scared, of what I don't know, but I am so happy I finally went to see her! Fear is a strange animal. I am on the driving list for chemo etc., the cooking list for when the family just needs a meal, and the ever welcome I just baked list for random times. She is helping me with a quilt for my mom, and it is the most wonderful time we have spent together.
Thank you for helping me, hugs
__________________ We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Don't get your knickers in a knot It makes you walk funny!
I had a cancer care nurse once tell me that cancer patients are often the most hopeful. We have the time to adjust to the situation, get treatments, and have many courses of treatment to pick from.
I am glad you were able to find a way with your friend and the best to her as she goes through this healing process, I hope she ends up with a better prognosis than expected.
__________________
Ellen in PA
"God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of love, power, and a sound mind."
Ellen, my friend is very hopeful, but very grounded. We spent this morning together shopping for material and then had a great fattening lunch. We did this to keep her mind off of her appointment this afternoon when she should get the rest of her pathology back. I don't honestly know if I could be that strong, but I am sure glad she is! Thank you for your kind words and wisdom. We have a lot to learn from each other!
__________________ We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Don't get your knickers in a knot It makes you walk funny!
Close friend has breast cancer! What do I do? 
We all get heavier as we get older,
It makes you walk funny!
Ellen in PA 
