My kids have made friends with a family. I am friendly with the moms but do not consider them friends esp the one mother I will call her z. She acts like a 8 y o ..Today both families kids were invited over. Emailed each family seperatly hoping not to have problems. Z has her kid call me asking if this other kid I had invited could come. I said yes I had already talked to the mom and both little and big kids were coming over. Little kid was coming over since Z bailed on babysitting for X. Now it looks like no one will be over to hang with my teens. Z has to control everyone around her. The only reason I have put up with her, is the kids. I have drawn the line often to her. This is why she has the kid call me she doesn't call me herself. Also when she is playing her games she will have the kid call me. If she is being nosy or wants something she will call. I have called ID and use it of course!! Z and her family are not liked her at all. The parents are users. I like the kids. They are so neat. Right now the only thing I can think of doing is walk from both. It will hurt ALL the kids. Anyone have other ideas?
__________________
"Do the best that you can where you are, and be kind." by Scott Nearing
I have tried talking to them both. X does not see how controlling Z is. I know they are having problems.
You know I feel like I am in grammar school and do not like it. I think I am done with both of them. My kids can find different friends. I am praying very hard about this!!
__________________
"Do the best that you can where you are, and be kind." by Scott Nearing
Location: Originally from the Home of the only 6 times Super Bowl Champs!
Posts: 12,099
To me, you could either walk away and not have anything to do with either woman but allow the kids to still stay friends
or you could invite one family at a time over to play with your kids.
Could you invite the kids only over to play? That way you wouldn't have to deal with the moms?
If you want to get to the bottom of things quickly approach both of them (or email both of them if you don't want to face them at the same time) and spell out exactly how you feel. Tell them that there seems to be some tension among all of you when you all get together. (I'm sure they feel it as well). Explain that you would like for all of you to be friends so if something is bothering them, please be open about it. If you can't work things out be prepared to walk away from them.
I deal with these issues at my daughter's school. I would love to be friends with some of the class parents and PTO women but most of them are in a clique with some of the teachers -- all of the parents and kids hang out together -- I don't do cliques and I'm not one to try to be someone I'm not so I find myself dealing with them at school and not being part of their circle outside of school. It's lonely some times but I've learned to deal with it.
I hope that you can work things out and remain friends with everyone.
Connie, personally I would just walk away from them all, trust me I have been in situations similar when my dd was growing up, and you are right you feel like you are in high school again, it never changes, (3 girls dont get along, and unfortunately alot of women in 3's dont get along either, I call these "toxic relationships, and you dont need them in your life, make new and better friends. Im speaking from experience, some people never grow up.
I have tried talking to both of them. X has rose colored glasses on, Z is a trouble maker. She says one thing to me then runs to X and tells a different story. Crazy!! My kids take karate, Z and her kids are there. There isn't another gym to use here.
OMG I can not get away from her. God keeps putting in front of me. AAAAhhhhhhhhh! The kids had karate class tonight. I was asked to lead kickboxing with some other gals so I did book work until time for class. Lady pain asked about locking the hallway doors and I said no, we will make sure they are locked before we leave. Kickboxing, karate and my office are in different parts of the same building. When we were done with kickboxing, one gal wanted information on hot stone massage so we started to my office. All the doors to the hallway were locked. We had to walk thru karate class thru another room to get to the hallway to get to my office. All the time Lady Pain was sitting and smiling at the desk, watching us. She pulls this stuff just to get me mad. I am trying to be an adult here and ignore her. That is not working. Her older kids are embarrassed because mom drags them into the mess. I do not know how to handle this. Talking to her does not work. She has to be the center of attention if there is not drama and chaos then she will make drama and chaos so she can run around fixing it. I am not getting into a yelling match with her. I have laid the law down to her, drawn the line. She thinks it is funny to cross the line. She hates it that the landlord has asked me to help out, kick boxing classes, yoga class ..... this is what I love. I know the landlord told me she is wanting to buy a gc for this gal for a massage. I do not want to massage her, she is a immature brat. Landlord does not see what type of person she is. Rose colored glasses I think. All I can think to do is try my best to stay away from her, and PRAY.
__________________
"Do the best that you can where you are, and be kind." by Scott Nearing
Location: Originally from the Home of the only 6 times Super Bowl Champs!
Posts: 12,099
After all of this, I think that I would walk away. She is just vindictive. You don't need that in your life...no one does. Don't let her get to you in other ways. Keep on doing what you've been doing. Other people will see what she is up to and you will come out on top. Don't give in to her nastiness.
I really can't stand people like that. There are a lot of women just like her around here. That's when I just walk away.
I walked away from friendship. Her kids will not be invited over anymore either. Unless we quit the gym, I will be thrown in with her from time to time. Isn't is strange/funny how much work these women put into being nasty? Where do they get the time and energy? Unless I pull my kids from Karate class, I will see her on Tuesdays. Turn the other cheek and make other friends. This gal may be a burr in my side for a while...... I will try my darnest to stay away from her!
__________________
"Do the best that you can where you are, and be kind." by Scott Nearing
Z and her family are not liked her at all. The parents are users. I like the kids. They are so neat. Right now the only thing I can think of doing is walk from both. It will hurt ALL the kids. Anyone have other ideas?
