This may sound dumb, but I need advice. My father in law just passed away. We were blessed to be at his side with the whole family. Now we are getting cards and flowers, both greatly appreciated, but my question is... What is the proper protocol? Are we to call the people who have sent their condolences, or do we just feel their love and accept them without response? I really need to know, I am not well, not happy and not thinking straight. I really want to handle this the proper way. Also, there has been no funeral, a celebration will take place in a few months. Thanks
__________________ We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Don't get your knickers in a knot It makes you walk funny!
Cooked, it is up to you but as Bluebird said, that is how it is in our area... When my husbamd passed away the funeral home gave me about 30 acknowledgement cards, there was also a Memory Book that had lists for the ones who left food and gifts to record who and what they left. I sent them out to the people who went the extra mile, who stayed here at the house while I was away (in case people stopped by), ones who were extra helpful in keeping my son occupied, and of course the ones who sent floral arrangements, checks, money, foods, and who were of great help. He had a normal burial, typical funeral. Now... my Mother chose to be cremated, and we did things different with her ~ she did not want any of the viewings or "hooplah" so she called it...Anyway, still she had a wonderful job, that she was retired from, MANY friends, and I still sent out Thank -you's to these people who sent checks, floral arrangements, potted plants, etc. here to my house. Of course, these people knew of her wishes not to be buried. The funeral home didn't offer these to me, but I am sure they would gladly print some if you would like, also did not offer a Memory Book. I just had a journal book and wrote each person's name down, and what their gift was so I could refer back later. I bought some and printed on them myself as each person I knew, and had different things that I wanted to say to them personally. Now this was exhausing for me~ and got me upset in the making... but it took several weeks and I got it done! You also seem to be going through the grieving process still, that in itself will make you feel bad, forgetful, and not knowing if you are coming or going... One other thing I did was to write a short thank you to friends/family and others that I may have missed at the time and submitted it to two of our local newspapers with a short poem to go with it. Hope and pray that you and your family will be doing okay through this process. Hugs!
__________________ ~Diana~
"My soul shall be joyful in the Lord; it shall rejoice in His salvation"
If you choose to buy from the funeral home, the prices of the thank you are high. You would be better of, imho, to have a friend make some on the computer or buy at a local discount store. We wrote a short thank you in the newspapers as well.
Hugs!!
__________________
"Do the best that you can where you are, and be kind." by Scott Nearing
Bluebird and Chadsmom, thank you so much for your advise. We have sent out a few thank you's for the flowers. We have no idea when the celebration will be yet. I appreciate all your advise and kindness. You have helped me a lot.
__________________ We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Don't get your knickers in a knot It makes you walk funny!
You're welcome Cooked, today there are so many ways to go about a service to make it personal for your families...And a Celebration of Life can be anytime also... from days, month and further if you like~ I have seen people wait a full year and do it on the year anniv. of the passing. I am so happy that you found out what was the best for you all
__________________ ~Diana~
"My soul shall be joyful in the Lord; it shall rejoice in His salvation"
We all get heavier as we get older,
It makes you walk funny!
