What Do You Say When A Teen Ask You For A Cigarette or Light?

**AnnaInOhio** · #1 (**permalink**) 06-16-2009, 09:30 AM

I've had this happen twice this summer. The first teen I didn't know and I said in a cheerful voice "Sure, when you turn 18 come back and I will".

The second time was today and it was the older brother of a little girl who is a friend of my neighbors daughter, she is 12 her big brother is 14yo. He stopped up on my porch today because Jessica and Maddy were on the porch. He ask me for a light... I told him I'm sorry, I know your mother lets you smoke but it's against the law and I don't want to get in trouble". He glared daggers at me and he and his friend left. I felt so "uncool" but yet I felt it was the right thing to do, just wonder if there were a cooler way to have said it?

And No I do not smoke around the girls just a FYI.

Anna

**ajrsmom** · #2 (**permalink**) 06-16-2009, 09:36 AM

I think that you handled things perfectly! Even if the parents condone this behavior, you do not have to give into something that you don't believe in!

I commend you for sticking to your guns and saying no!

**AnnaInOhio** · #3 (**permalink**) 06-16-2009, 11:42 AM

Thanks Tami

I just felt so uncomfortable with them even asking me that, it makes me wonder what kind of people live in my neighborhood (not immediate but around me). Honestly I am appalled that these children's mother allows them to smoke, just want to take my frying skillet and bang it on her head "What is she thinking".

Anna

danstigerangel · #4 (**permalink**) 06-16-2009, 12:12 PM

Anna---I totally agree with Tami! You handled it very well! Great job!

**AnnaInOhio** · #5 (**permalink**) 06-16-2009, 06:25 PM

Thanks Lauri

This is just so unusual I didn't know how to handle it, we've never had this happen in all the years we've lived in this neighborhood. Oh several years ago a young boy about 10ish I'd guess, he liked to stop and talk to dh out in the yard, he sat down next to dh one day and said "Can I have one of those" back when dh smoked and dh handled it same as I did "When you are 18".

It just surprises me that kids would ask a adult they really don't know for a cigarette.

Anna

danstigerangel · #6 (**permalink**) 06-16-2009, 06:53 PM

My children are grown. DS is 19 and dd is 24. DD smoles occasionally. DS is not a smoker but a few of his friends smoke. Not one of them has asked me for a light or a cigarette (yes I am a smoker). I think they are trying to be cool.

BuddyBeanieBaby · #7 (**permalink**) 06-17-2009, 09:00 PM

Anna you handled it perfectly...I think the mother is wrong in letting her 14 year old son smoke...I'd be kicking his butt all the way down the street...

Smiles & Hugs...

**AnnaInOhio** · #8 (**permalink**) 06-18-2009, 02:56 AM

BuddyBeannieBaby

Oh absolutely, it just astounds me that in this day and age anyone would even consider letting their child smoke. I mean it is totally taboo now to even smoke in your home with children. From what I'm gathering in talking more to this little girl, she doesn't seem to have a very good home life. I'll be carefully listening for more clues this summer because things just aren't sounding right and I'm not one to sit back and ignore any kind of child abuse, whether physical or mental.

Anna

barbszy · #9 (**permalink**) 06-18-2009, 04:42 AM

This topic has been moved to "Just Gabbin'."

**Bilby** · #10 (**permalink**) 06-19-2009, 02:39 PM

OSI the law says you can't smoke here until you are 18 and I'd say no also, not only that, if another adult saw you give him a light and reported it you could be in trouble (that may depend on the authority it was reported to but non the less you could be) ... same as alcohol to which I'd say no also.

I think you handled it well also.