Everytime I babysit my nieces I come back home with these same feelings of what kind of mom I would have made.
Did you KNOW you would be a good mom before you had kids, was it, like, something inside you, a feeling?, a knowing? Or did you become a good mom by being one?
I am not that good with kids, really. I wonder if God really knew that and so kept his plans for me to be childless, or, if I am just not good with kids because I don't have any??
Also, I love them, but I don't have the "mom love." And those of you who are moms know that feeling I am talking about. I have never felt it but I can see it in my sister.
Was it an automatic feeling when you gave birth and your child was placed in your arms?
What was your experience and what makes YOU a good mom? And, just FYI, I think you ALL are awesome moms!
Trainlady. I was never around kids nor did I ever babysit. I found that I became a mom when I gave birth. I loved every minute of pregnancy, but the mom in me really came through when my children were born. I never knew what to do with kids until I had them.
Don't worry too much about this. You are wonderful to look after your nieces. You are also just wonderful the way you are!
__________________ We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Don't get your knickers in a knot It makes you walk funny!
I think one reason you don't have that "mom" feeling towards your neices is because you are not their mom. If they were living with you, you might have different feelings.
Just because you are a mom does not mean you are bursting with love all the time either. My kids have wrenched my heart out and stomped on it. There have been times, not proud of it but it happens, that I have truly disliked my kids. They actually turn into people with their own lives and it is not always the life you had hoped for. Most of the time though, it's pretty darn good!
Oops, sorry, started talking too much!
I do hope you feel like you are making a contribution to their lives, you are a big part of who they will be! A good part!
__________________ We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Don't get your knickers in a knot It makes you walk funny!
Train--I don't know if I can truly say I had that moment of this is it, but my "mom feeling" is more of gradual this is the way it is thing. When you give birth to a child you have already spent 9 months together preparing and dreaming of the future. When your child is born there is that period of bonding. You are their world and they become yours. You share the good and bad times together and love them no mater what.
I did do DayCare for nine years and have some kids that I really became close to. Although I had special bonds with a few of them, they still had their own Moms and my role was more of "second" Mom. Even though I have very special feeling for these kids, it isn't the same as what I feel for my own children.
I think I have shared this with you before, but I have a dear Aunt who was my "second" Mom. She never had kids of her own, but loved to have kids around and would have us at her house or take us places through our childhood. She is 91 now and a very special person in my life. I am sure your neices will have many wonderful memories to treasure of their times together with you and Mark.
I always wanted to be a mom. Now I understand I wanted badly to break the cycle of abuse from my mother. I needed to prove to myself that I could come from a abusive home life and make a good safe loving home for my kids. My mother knew this even tho' I never spoke of it to her. I paid dearly as a adult for my decsion. I know I did the right thing. I am very happy because of it. Or in spite of it? lol
__________________
"Do the best that you can where you are, and be kind." by Scott Nearing
I understand the "Mom" feeling everyone talks about w/biological children but I feel the same about non-biological too. My children's friends or a lost soul looking for love and attention gets me everytime. I feel as strong about some of them as my 3 natural "brats". Guess I aquired that ability from my Dad , who is the same. A favorite saying of his was "It's not your fault who your parents are, but it's your fault who you become".
Last edited by Lisa Berry; 05-08-2009 at 10:07 AM.
I feel the same way as Lisa - I just love children or people in general - Whenever I see some child or person that is sad or crying, there is nothing that I want more than to make it better for them - Although I have 4 wonderful boys, some women aren't able to have them - My sis in laws sister couldn't have biological children but was able to adopt 2 precious children - So, I think that the mom feeling can just come from loving or caring for others - My favorite song lately (it's also my cell ring tone) is "Give me your eyes" by Brandon Heath - I just want to be able to see & love folks the way that God sees & loves them/us - I'm so thankful that He made me a woman & gave me the ability to love & to be a Mom......Especially this weekend!!! :-)
We all get heavier as we get older,
It makes you walk funny!
I understand the "Mom" feeling everyone talks about w/biological children but I feel the same about non-biological too. My children's friends or a lost soul looking for love and attention gets me everytime. I feel as strong about some of them as my 3 natural "brats". Guess I aquired that ability from my Dad , who is the same. A favorite saying of his was "It's not your fault who your parents are, but it's your fault who you become".
