The importance of goal-setting came up in a conversation recently and I thought it would make an excellant topic for us here at FC.
Do you set daily goals, weekly goals, monthly goals, as well as goals for where you want to be in 5 years, 10 years, and/or 20 years? What are the goals that you want to accomplish before you reach the end of your life?
I think we can help each other achieve our goals if we list them here and encourage each other to set in motion plans to achieve them.
I have discovered the importance of setting goals in my life and to have them written down. I have learned that if I don't write them down, it is like not having a target when you shoot a gun or throw a dart. You can't hit the bullseye if you don't have a target and you can't achieve a goal if you don't have one and write it down.
I also think it is important to give yourself rewards for achieving your goals. The rewards should vary depending on the goal. For example, a reward for staying on a diet for a month might be a new dress. A reward for accomplishing your goals for the week might be to go out for coffee with friends on the weekend. However, these rewards should only berecieved IF you achieve your goals or else you won't be driven to achieve them. It would be like giving an allowance to a child who hasn't done his chores. The child will learn to do his chores less and less. You will become more and more relaxed in setting and working towards your goals.
I thought this thread would be a good place for us to set our goals and talk about our plans to achieve them.
This week my goals are split into the goals to get ready to move back to Midland and the goals I need to achieve once I get to Midland before school starts on Monday.
My Carlsbad goals are dye my hair, make my dog food, do my laundry, pack my things, and make my DH one more casserole for the freezer so he'll have one more thing to pull from the freezer after I'm gone for a that little taste of "home." If I get the Carlsbad goals done, I will go out to lunch with a friend, if I am feeling better.
My Midland goals are to vacuum the RV, make the bed, put away my things, and organize my trailer.
I think I have a mild case of food poisoning. But, when I am feeling better, I will post my short term goals as well as my long term goals.
Goal setting is how I've been able to stay married for almost 29 years, get through college and get my BA, getting through college to work towards my MA, and so on.
I am pretty good at setting goals at work, such what I want and need to accomplish every week, month, quarter and year.
At home and in my personal life goal setting has kind of gone by the wayside. I use to set goals when I was younger, but somehow the hectic pace of life took over and I have neglected goal setting at home. When I do set goals, short term goals seem to be easier for me to set than longer term ones. I think it has to do with the patience it takes to achieve the long term goals---I am short on it.
So here is my first goal for 2008:
I will clean out and organize one closet in my house each month. Hopefully by the end of the year I will have all of the closets clean and gotten rid of some excess stuff.
When I was younger I set my long term goals to do before I die:
Tandam jump or ride in a NASCAR race car
Own a Corvetter
Be happily married
Have 4 children
Go to college
Become a psychologist
Travel
Live in the moutains
The only goal that I have changed is the 4 children dream. After having 1, reality hit me and I decided that I only wanted 2 so we had one more.
Today, my only goal is to dye my hair. I have been feeling puny, so I am not going to stretch myself. I leave for Texas on Friday, so I am going to slowly pack my things.
DeBora---I think the reason a lot of people don't set goals is that they are afraid they won't reach them. I like how you changed one of your long term goal above. I think we all need to remember that sometimes our goals (especially the long term ones) might need to change as our life changes. AND it is OK if you do change your goals.
My weekly goals:
Start gathering all of the papers, reciepts, etc. I need for taxes.
Plan next weeks meals.
Can some the frozen tomatoes in my freezer.
DeBora---I think the reason a lot of people don't set goals is that they are afraid they won't reach them. I like how you changed one of your long term goal above. I think we all need to remember that sometimes our goals (especially the long term ones) might need to change as our life changes. AND it is OK if you do change your goals.
Joy, very well put!!! Things most people don't do is accept that you aren't a bad person if you don't reach your goal, it is okay to alter your goal as you change, and, most importantly, SET REALISTIC GOALS. I remember telling someone that they need to set goals. Then, this person set a unachievable goal and was upset with him/herself.
I think of it this way. I consider myself smart--book smart--college smart. But, I am not a genius and I don't like math. It was realistic of me to set a goal to become a psychologist. It is challenging and I have to work hard to get there. But, it would be unrealistic for me to set a goal to become a brain surgeon or a rocket scientist. If I did, I would fail and as I was failing I would think of myself as stupid for not being able to do the work. It would crush my self esteem.
I have learned that setting and achieving the little goals make us determined to set and achieve the bigger goals and so on.
Personally, I look back at my goals that I have set and achieved and I feel so GREAT! There is a feeling of accomplishment. I feel encouraged to do more, be more, and have more.
I came from a painful childhood. I was told I was stupid (amongst other things). I made low grades and I had no friends. My self-esteem was low and my self efficacy (belief in what one could accomplish) was low. Once I worked through my issues and had a healthy self-esteem, I started working toward improving my life, which necessarily included setting goals. Once I started setting and accomplishing little goals, my self-efficacy improved and my goal setting showed it.
In a nutshell, setting realistic goals and working to achieve them improves lives.
If you set a goal to reach the moon, you may not get there, but think how high you will get trying? My point is that even if you don't achieve all your goals, not only will you have fun trying, but you will also be better off than if you had done nothing!
Here is another thought, some people may not set goals due to not being sure of what they want because life for them has changed drastically. My life has been involuntarily changed so many times, that some of my goals seem completely unattainable--setting me up for failure if I persist. The phrase "I have a dream..." would apply, but that seems to be all that I have anymore--to far out to call a goal. Then, as fast as life is going now with family, college, and work there doesn't seem to be time to even set reasonable goals because some get lost due to lack of time. Other than cleaning house, and I personally don't think that is a goal because it is not something that I Want to do. Please no one take that as me being offensive.
Then you have a friend who makes you think. Now I will list a few goals: successfully completing this college semester, passing the second teaching certification test, beginning my photography again, taking time to enjoy my family and friends, and keeping my mind (lol). Sorry just had to put that one in there. Now for a real question, how do you seperate long term from short term? I want to graduate with my bachalor degree, so if I set the short term for passing per semester does that take out the bachalor degree as a goal? That is the part that confuses me.
__________________ "Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "...HOLY COW...What A Ride!"
Ditto for me what Shellsea said on the first paragraph.....except for it's not that my goals feel unatainable, it's that I have none. Or , no big ones anyway.
Does anyone else feel like they should have bigger, or, more meaningful goals?
Todays goal is to finish taking down the tree..........
Michelle, first, it's good to have you posting. Second, you really should share some of your photos on the gallery here. The FC members will brag about your photos and you will feel on so good!
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Now I will list a few goals: successfully completing this college semester, passing the second teaching certification test, beginning my photography again, taking time to enjoy my family and friends, and keeping my mind (lol).
Michelle, you are the only female in a house with 4 males. Don't you think that getting your mind might be a little unrealistic?
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Other than cleaning house, and I personally don't think that is a goal because it is not something that I Want to do. Please no one take that as me being offensive.
I personally wouldn't think that cleaning house would be the goal. The goal would be to have a clean house or a cleaner house, depending on what you'd personally like. Then, you'd set a plan on how to get that house clean, which could include setting a chore schedule or a chart on who is responsible for what in order to keep the house clean. I hope that makes sense. We only do the painful things, such as cleaning house, to get the pleasurable things, such as a clean house, which is the goal. Goals are never painful; the painful part is what we have to do to get to the goal. lol
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Now for a real question, how do you seperate long term from short term?
I personally separate them this way:
Short-term: weekly or less
Mid-term: a few weeks to a few months
Long-term: a few months to many many years
It is easier for me to find the strength to deal with the mid-term or long term goals if I accomplish the short-term goals. It is like baby steps on What About Bob? lol
Donna, you and Shellsea have so much in common, personality-wise! lol Trust me, I know both of you. Other than the fact that she has children and likes horses instead of trains, you girls could be sisters. lol