Online friendship versus Face-to-face pals

[DeBora4BobbyL]

For my research class, I am going to have to write a research paper. However, the professor wants us to make up data for the purpose of writing the paper. But, I thought it would be fun to answer the questions for real. This is just for fun. I will probably use the data, but I will magnify it.

The following is a questionnaire concerning your online friendships versus the friendships that you made face-to-face. Answer them to the best of your ability and have fun!

1)Do you have any disabilities that prevent you from socializing outside your residence? Please don’t list the nature of them here.
2)Do you consider yourself to be timid or shy that prevents you from making face-to-face friendships the way that you would like?
3)How many online friendships have you made online that you regularly email, mail via postal service, or call on the telephone?
4)What ways do you socialize with your online friends (e.g., email, telephone calls, personal visits, chat rooms, instant messaging, and so on)?
5)How many face-to-face friendships do you have that you regularly interact with on a regular basis (at least weekly)?
6)Have you ever felt ostracized while communicating with others in chat rooms or chat forums?
7)Have you ever felt ostracized while interacting with others in face-to-face situations?
8)Which do you feel was worse, the face-to-face ostracism or the online ostracism and why?
9)In what ways do you feel that your online friends have benefited you? (e.g., listened to your problem, sent a birthday card, sent a sympathy card, helped you with your marriage, and so on).
10)In what ways do you interact with your face-to-face friends (e.g., at church meetings, at work, children’s birthday parties, and so on).

[DeBora4BobbyL]

Oh, it would be great if you could also say something about your marital status and how long you've been with your significant other as well as if you've been married before.

[trekmom]

Hi DeBora, I've been married for 33years for the first and only time-still am.

1)Do you have any disabilities that prevent you from socializing outside your residence? No

2)Do you consider yourself to be timid or shy that prevents you from making face-to-face friendships the way that you would like? I was when I was younger-it's still hard for me in a crowd of people I don't know at all.

3)How many online friendships have you made online that you regularly email, mail via postal service, or call on the telephone? I have one, not from FC, that I regularly email.

4)What ways do you socialize with your online friends (e.g., email, telephone calls, personal visits, chat rooms, instant messaging, and so on)?
mostly email-I don't normally care for chat rooms or instant messages-although I will talk to someone wanting to talk to me.

5)How many face-to-face friendships do you have that you regularly interact with on a regular basis (at least weekly)? except with my family, none

6)Have you ever felt ostracized while communicating with others in chat rooms or chat forums? yes

7)Have you ever felt ostracized while interacting with others in face-to-face situations? yes

8)Which do you feel was worse, the face-to-face ostracism or the online ostracism and why? I think they're both equally bad-mainly because it makes me feel bad or mad and I wonder what's wrong with me at the time.

9)In what ways do you feel that your online friends have benefited you? (e.g., listened to your problem, sent a birthday card, sent a sympathy card, helped you with your marriage, and so on). I have received support and encouragement, for a couple of different occasions,from my online friends that I didn't get from my face-to-face friends/family

10)In what ways do you interact with your face-to-face friends (e.g., at church meetings, at work, children’s birthday parties, and so on). mostly at work and funerals-isn't that sad?? Sometimes weddings and baby showers and birthday parties.

[DeBora4BobbyL]

Pam, thank you so much! I really appreciate you for participating! It is so difficult to know who is outgoing and who is shy when communicating with online people. I am outgoing and my DH is an introvert.

I should specify that when I say "chat rooms" that also includes chat forums such as Family Corner.

Thanks again!

[Candy]

Hi Deb, I have been married this dec 30 years. first marrige was 6 years.
1)Do you have any disabilities that prevent you from socializing outside your residence?yes, somewhat. Please don’t list the nature of them here.
2)Do you consider yourself to be timid or shy that prevents you from making face-to-face friendships the way that you would like? No
3)How many online friendships have you made online that you regularly email, mail via postal service, or call on the telephone? None, I keep it to the boards.
4)What ways do you socialize with your online friends (e.g., email, telephone calls, personal visits, chat rooms, instant messaging, and so on)?Occasional calls, emails. Postings.
5)How many face-to-face friendships do you have that you regularly interact with on a regular basis (at least weekly)? Three good friends
6)Have you ever felt ostracized while communicating with others in chat rooms or chat forums?Yes
7)Have you ever felt ostracized while interacting with others in face-to-face situations? Yes
8)Which do you feel was worse, the face-to-face ostracism or the online ostracism and why?Online because it was a group,I felt ganged up on.
9)In what ways do you feel that your online friends have benefited you? (e.g., listened to your problem, sent a birthday card, sent a sympathy card, helped you with your marriage, and so on).They are there when you need them. Nice to know people far away care enough to send birthday card etc. Can say more when not face to face(more nerve) therfore it helps me more in my marrige etc.
10)In what ways do you interact with your face-to-face friends (e.g., at church meetings, at work, children’s birthday parties, and so on).one on one meetings for lunch etc.Party's,birthdays,Church,work...all of the above.LOL

[trekmom]

DeBora I do like getting involved with the forums on FC but it's hard to throw myself into ongoing conversations-mainly because I don't have anything to add to the ongoing conversation so what I'm posting is off topic for those already 'chatting' and is usually by-passed; unless I can add to the current topic also.
But I do enjoy reading what everyone posts-even if I can't add to it.
I'm mainly an introvert and my dh is the extrovert-it's good to have one of each as a couple I think! LOL

[DeBora4BobbyL]

Thanks!

Pam, I agree. My DH is an introvert and I am an extrovert. It is interesting how opposites attract in this way. It works out too, I think. My DH does things that I really dislike and I do things that he hates as well. For example, when dealing with rude neighbors, I do the confronting. When dealing with salesman on the phone, he tells them that is his wife's department and hands me the phone, even though it is really his department! lol I think the introvert/extrovert combination fits like a puzzle.

[Sammi1961]

1)Do you have any disabilities that prevent you from socializing outside your residence? Please don’t list the nature of them here. No
2)Do you consider yourself to be timid or shy that prevents you from making face-to-face friendships the way that you would like? I am very shy when it comes to being in situations where I don't know anyone. I am not good at approaching someone and starting a conversation but if someone approaches me I am happy to chat.
3)How many online friendships have you made online that you regularly email, mail via postal service, or call on the telephone? I would say 4 good friendships that I regularly talk with through IM, phone, or email. There a couple who I have communicated with through regular mail. I also have a couple friends through FC who I have exchanged postcards with and small gifts and one whom I exchanged birthday gifts with and emails. Other online friends would be through FC which I find to be so much fun and such a Godsend at times. I work at home so the FC message boards are sometimes the only adult "conversation" I have during the day.
4)What ways do you socialize with your online friends (e.g., email, telephone calls, personal visits, chat rooms, instant messaging, and so on)? I have met two people from online who I have become very good friends wth. One is male and the other female. They have also met each other. I socialize with the man though IMs, emails, telephone and going to the movies or out to dinner. He is 31 and single but dh and I go out to dinner with him and his girlfriend or I meet him for coffee or go to the movies. The woman and I talk several times a week by phone, we sometimes talk through IMs and we also email. We get together for dinner, movies, shopping and right now I am "cat sitting" her cat as she sold her house and she and her children have moved in with her mom. She cannot have her cat there so I am taking care of it until she buys a new home. She and I exchange birthday and Christmas gifts and cards as well. I will say before I met either person we talked online for well over a year. i have now been friends with the man for about 4 years and the woman for 7+ years.
5)How many face-to-face friendships do you have that you regularly interact with on a regular basis (at least weekly)? I have 3 close friends that I talk with in person on at least a weekly basis.
6)Have you ever felt ostracized while communicating with others in chat rooms or chat forums? I don't do chat rooms.
7)Have you ever felt ostracized while interacting with others in face-to-face situations? I haven't felt ostracized per se but am often uncomfortable in situations where I don't know anyone and if they do not seek me out, I am often too shy to speak.
8)Which do you feel was worse, the face-to-face ostracism or the online ostracism and why? I would think both would be equally as bad as a person would feel unaccepted or ignored in either situation
9)In what ways do you feel that your online friends have benefited you? (e.g., listened to your problem, sent a birthday card, sent a sympathy card, helped you with your marriage, and so on). My online friends have benefitted me in many ways. They give me adult conversation, send birthday cards, helped me when I had a problem I needed to discuss, always have a shoulder to cry on when I have had a bad day, give me new recipes to try, given me opinions or information that I needed and have also made me laugh when I really needed a good laugh.
10)In what ways do you interact with your face-to-face friends (e.g., at church meetings, at work, children’s birthday parties, and so on). My face to face friends and I go out to dinner, shopping, to the movies, or visit at each other's houses. Sometimes we just stand out in the yard and chat.
__________________

[sharona]

Hubby and I have been together for 30 years, married 26. It's our first and only as well.

1)Do you have any disabilities that prevent you from socializing outside your residence?
No
Please don’t list the nature of them here.
2)Do you consider yourself to be timid or shy that prevents you from making face-to-face friendships the way that you would like?
No
3)How many online friendships have you made online that you regularly email, mail via postal service, or call on the telephone?
4
4)What ways do you socialize with your online friends (e.g., email, telephone calls, personal visits, chat rooms, instant messaging, and so on)?
Email, IM, personal visits, skype, cards and letters by snail mail.
5)How many face-to-face friendships do you have that you regularly interact with on a regular basis (at least weekly)?
3
6)Have you ever felt ostracized while communicating with others in chat rooms or chat forums?
Yes
7)Have you ever felt ostracized while interacting with others in face-to-face situations?
Yes
8)Which do you feel was worse, the face-to-face ostracism or the online ostracism and why?
Online. The freeze out in a group setting is more painful when you cannot see the body language of the people involved. In person, you can see immediately that you are not part of the clique.
9)In what ways do you feel that your online friends have benefited you? (e.g., listened to your problem, sent a birthday card, sent a sympathy card, helped you with your marriage, and so on).
I get to meet so many more people online. There is always an ear to bend, a shoulder to cry on, someone that you can help. There are more uplifting happy moments with online people, as it is faceless for the most part. You can't see that I am bawling, hurting, mad or happy. You see the words I type and the tone I set there.
10)In what ways do you interact with your face-to-face friends (e.g., at church meetings, at work, children’s birthday parties, and so on).
Work, getaways, shopping trips, lunch.

[Sammi1961]

I forgot to mention in my previous post that dh and I have been married 22 years - both our first and only marriage