Sometimes my temper gets the better of me and I use language I'd rather not--especially in front of my kids.
Has anyone found success in breaking this habit--and what tricks did you use to do it?
Many people put a rubber-band around their wrists and snapped it everytime they do a bad habit they are trying to get rid of. At some point, the brain doesn't do the bad habit to avoid the pain. It's been a long time since I tried this one.
I do this to, and it depends on who is around as to what I say. I'm worse around my ds1 although he doesn't swear apart from a couple of mild words and I figure he is worse at school than he is with me, I'm pretty good around my younger one.
I guess just thinking before you open you're mouth and about to say something, that is where I'm better, if I think first. Be more measured in your responses?
I guess you just have to find what's easiest for you, it can be a toughy, some habits are hard to break LOL.
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I have to say that the major problem for me is just blurting it out when something is spilled, or dropped....something like that. I don't sprinkle it in through my conversation.
But I want to figure out an alternative way to react.
I know this is a cop-out, but it works for me when my GKs come for a visit and I am watching the race! (Trust me, this season and last season have been full of angry moments!)
Instead of saying the big D word, I say Dag-gum-it. Instead of the big F word, I guess you could say Fizzle! Instead of the big H word, you could subsitute Hank or Henry. Well, you get the idea! It works for me. Dag-gum-it is my fave!
It's been awhile since I have heard dagnabbit. LOL When the GKs come over we watch the Boomerang channel, PBS, Noggin (sp), and all the others. LOL I miss all my shows when they visit! LOL
My dh has the cleanest mouth of anyone I know. He uses Aw Nuts when something doesn't go right. Horsehonky for when he doesn't believe something. But most of the time he just refrains. He pretty much follows that adage, Let your yes be a yes and your no a no and nothing in between.
My mil (his mom of course) said she pictures that unfoul item coming out of the mouth of the person using that foul word and that alone makes her not want to use any foul words. Her conversation if very G rated and very pleasant and interesting. Everyone is comfortable around her.
I took a look at some cell phone and IM text messages that the girls and boys were sending back and forth. It was vulgar. And I have heard the elementary school bus and believe me, even at that level, the f word is in common use. So it is going to be a determined effort on all our parts.
Our kids truly are little sponges and they will pick up on all of it no matter how mild the expletive. What has cured me? I am getting much much better. Hearing my words in their mouths is appalling. And I don't even use the harsher words.
So how it is said is often as important as what is said. And what we fill our minds with is often an influence. Songs, books, television, movies. Remember that acronym? GIGO (garbage in/garbage out) from early on computer programming. I think it applies across the board. It is really hard in today's society but no harder than back in Old Testament times. Was it Lot that had to protect his daughters from rout and looters? Someone did. they were outside the house using all kinds of horrible words and entreaties. Depravity reigned even back then.
There is a verse in the bible that defines mouth usages: Let no unclean word proceed out of our mouths. So unclean could be anything fouly uttered. This even sets the standard for dirty jokes.
When my kids were little I used a dab of soap on their tongues. Lead by example as best we can and let them know when and where they have crossed the lines that you have drawn for them.
Have I succeeded? Oh that I wish I could say so. But I can say that compared to last year, last month, last week, that the battle is being won. Pressure to get things done, pressure to get somewhere, pressure to have things go right, all these things would cause me to blow a fuse and utter things I would rather not. So slowing down my life helped a great great deal!
One other phrase that a 6th grade teacher uses instead of (fill in whatever word you want) is 'That is Less Than Optimal.'
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Ellen in PA
"God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of love, power, and a sound mind."
We have set the standard in our home - no cursing. Before I was a Christian, I did not realize even that OMG was a curse! Thankfully someone kindly explained to me that it hurt God's heart when I did this! Many children are not aware of this and it usually only takes a gentle explanation of why it is unacceptable.
I have told our girls that they have a standard. Anyone can use vulgar language and do things that are vulgar - but it takes a lady to walk in self control and be modest etc. I have always, always called them "my ladies" or "my beautiful ladies" and they (as a rule) are meeting the standard. Their dad is a gentleman - does not as a rule use offensive language. The few times he (or I) have slipped, we have apologized and asked for forgiveness.
I remember a funny story one time - our eldest came home yelling, "Mom, Kaylee used the "F" word!" "You did?" I asked, surprised. "No! I didn't" shouted Kaylee and then she looked at me and said "Mom, what is the "F" word?" "I whispered the word in her ear and she said "oh yes, I used that word." I then quietly explained to her that it wasn't a word we should use and she shouldn't use it again.
They are teenagers now .... so far, so good....
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