Teen daughter is gaining

[LuckyO]

My daughter had a weight problem as a child, it peaked just before puberty when she was about 180 pounds. She went down to a size 6 by the time she reached high school and she loved wearing all the fahions and all the attention from boys.
Now she has graduated and is taking a gap year. However, over the past year she has gained about 30 pounds and I see her heading back down the same road. Whenever I mention anything to her clothes wise, food wise, etc. she gets emotional and accuses me of trying to make her anorexic. I don't say anything any more, but it saddens me to see her this way. Yes, healthy food is placed on the table every day, but I know she's eating fast food when she's out and hoarding treats in her room. Any suggestions?

[barbszy]

A few thoughts: now that she is an adult she might resent your input on this--even if it is just because you are a concerned Mom. She's not going to see it that way.

I think your best bet is to involve another person, one she respects. Perhaps your family doctor would be willing to refer her to a nutritionist.

Are you able to get together with her for some kind of exercise or exercise class? She might enjoy the time with you--but keep the "weight" and "diet" pressure off.

Last, it sounds like she might be depressed. She's taking a "gap year...." does she have enough to do? Have all her friends gone on to college and left her behind? Maybe she is eating for comfort.

[ellenmelon]

Could she/you build in a way to get more exercise? Not just to calorie burn because it takes ever so many minutes to burn off a bag of fries (like four days worth of minutes!) but more for the feeling better about herself, getting the endorphin good-feeling kick from moving, and the sunshine if it is daily walks will help.

DD2 was worried about some pudginess and I said Don't worry, Marching Band is starting up soon. But mom, we just stand there most of the time. But the truth is, they are standing in a place not near a refrigerator! Now she is so thin we are concerned so we said, are you going anorexic on us? She said, no. But we will keep an eye on her.

I thought eating and weight gain/loss were more about control issues. I think a gap year is one where we aren't in control but searching for control so maybe that could be explored...are there any people (other than mom of course!) that could be her mentor?

She knows what path she is on. I understand your concerns and that you are worried. Maybe she is too. Solace can come in forms other than food, find some of those.

[Bilby]

Could something else be worrying her and she's seeking food for comfort?
I know sometimes it's very hard to find what's on kids minds, they all react differently to problems.

Good luck, just being there when she needs you should be a big help.