Two of my neighbors don't get along, yet I get along great with both of them. I walk with one of them in the morning, the other I talk to a couple of times per day. I could go into a long descriptive explanation about their differences, but it's not really that so much that I'm worried about. It's me. I'm stuck in the middle. The thing that bothers me most is when one talks about the other. I realize they are just venting to a friend (me) but it makes me uncomfortable.
Anyone going through this? Would love ot hear your stories too
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Amanda, Ive been there too and it sure is an awkward situation. This is what I did..... I asked each one ( at different times) not to speak badly about the other one to me. I told them that they both knew that I was friends with the other one and by speaking badly of the other person, they put me in the middle. You have to do your part too by not mentioning one to the other one.
This is a tough situation but it can work if you dont allow them to manipulate you into playing the good guy-bad guy role when you are with them.
Amanda ,
I have the same problem ... my two neighbours are both my friends yet neither of them like each other or their kids ....all the kids , including mine , get along just fine ... it is the two parents that dont get along. They vent to me and you can see the jealousy in them when they rush towards me when i get home *argh* drives you up the wall. I have told them that i dont ever speak bad about anyone and i would appreciate it if they didnt either. The worse thing is that my kids are being torn apart as one family ( the adults) want to take my kids here and there and then the other family wants the same thing . I am starting to stop the 'lil trips' as my kids are now noticing that when they go out with one family , the other family does something to try and out do the other ... i think someone is going to be going to disneyland before the end of summer if i dont stop this
Sorry i just had to vent as it is driving me up the wall.
Does it effect your kids at all like it does mine???
Sue
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The only way to have a friend is to be one
Originally posted by craftymom
Does it effect your kids at all like it does mine???
Oh I'm so sorry that your kids have been affected Luckily, mine haven't. The one neighbor has a daughter that is CONSTANTLY in trouble. She's always grounded and my daughter isn't exactly crazy about her. The other neighbor is my daughter's best friend's mom. I'm not sure if she ever says anything in front of my daughter, I don't think she does, but we don't ever talk about it in front of her.
ajrsmom - I have thought about doing this as my little hints about it and me changing the subject doesn't seem to work LOL Luckily, the way our houses are set up they can't see each other.
The two families i am talking about live next door to each other so they see eat other everyday lol I told my kids to just play with who ever they wanted and not to pay attention to the 'rumors' that they hear. I just wish that the grown-up would act more like that than kids LMAO
I am glad to know i am not the only one with neighbours that dont get along .
Sue
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The only way to have a friend is to be one
Ohh that sounds so familiar.... Years ago I had that happen to me...2 neighbors at each other's throats and me in the middle..
After a few months of this I decided to have a little lunch in
a local eatery, and I invited both of them. They both showed, each not knowing the other was coming. I sat with both of them, and me in the middle as usual...and said...Ladies..I am in the middle because y'all can't act like adults....so I've ordered yer lunch for you.....and...here's the way it's gonna be....if y'all want to be friendly with me....that's cool.....HOWEVER, I do not want to hear one word about the other from either of you. The first time that happens, I leave. Let me tell you ladies, I survived before y'all and I'll survive after y'all.. So if you can't be civil, Adios...there's the door, and don't let it hit ya on the way out.
And I glared at both of them. Sooooo, what's it gonna be?
Both remained. And that put an end to it....
If you let it go too far, and it starts affecting your kids, then it's time to make a break with both....because it is not they want you for a friend, it's that they want to outdo each other....
as women, we need to learn to SET BOUNDARIES. It is ok for you to say to each neighbour separately "from now on, I don't want to hear about neighbour x; if you have a problem with her, that is your problem, but I get along with her and I like her, etc." If the subject comes up when you are with one of your neighbours, just say "unless you are going to say something affirming and uplifting about that person, that is a subject that is closed."
This is called 'setting ground rules'. These kind of boundaries can be used in any relationship - for example, a friend of mine and I have totally different views on our world views - we have decided that the subject is an out of boundary one for us because it can cause hard feelings etc. We have been friends for about 25 years and we have agreed to disagree and leave it at that.
I love your idea about going of for a meal and ordering for them lol my neighbours are seeming to do better in the respect that they arent being catty with each other or about the kids
Sue
__________________
The only way to have a friend is to be one
Hi
This is was I go thru...the landlord comes overs and dumps the trash and talks about things I really dont need to hear..then one of the other tentants will tell me something that I know is not true it drives me crazy because when I see her coming I make myself busy...The other problem is my neighbor next door's address is the same as mine except for a quarter( ex" 123 123 1/4) and I get their mail all of time(problem here: he's a listed sex offender) What an ordeal hun
secamom! ohh geesh! Is there any way you can move out of there?
If you are getting the sex offender's mail, and there is anything pornographic, you need to get in touch with the police.
I think I'd also get the biggest baddest watch dog if I couldn't move.....but if I were you, I'd do everything in my power to move... *hugs* especially if you have kids... *sigh*
Luckily, mine haven't. The one neighbor has a daughter that is CONSTANTLY in trouble. She's always grounded and my daughter isn't exactly crazy about her. The other neighbor is my daughter's best friend's mom. I'm not sure if she ever says anything in front of my daughter, I don't think she does, but we don't ever talk about it in front of her. 
Jeannie 
