Siblings of Friends

barbszy · #1 (**permalink**) 07-20-2008, 11:56 AM

When your child has a friend over to play, do you allow that friend's sibling to stay, even if you don't have a similar-age child?

**ajrsmom** · #2 (**permalink**) 07-20-2008, 01:31 PM

It depends on if my kids get along with the other child. If he/she cannot take part in what the other kids are doing, then no, they would have to go home.

My DD hangs out with her brother's older friends a lot but only if they are doing something that she can do. I was surprised to see that a bunch of 10 yr. old boys would be so nice to a 5 yr. old girl and allow her to play football with them.

lol!!! I won't allow her to go with them far from our house, though.

debknechtel · #3 (**permalink**) 07-20-2008, 03:10 PM

Barb for me it depends on the family.....if it is a family we chum with on a reg occasion I will sometimes let a sibling stay......most of the time no though.....I have had parents ask me when their child is invited can the other brother or sister come too as they are upset their sibling is going.....I wsas shocked to be asked this......I said no sorry but it is my son's birthday and he does not even know the brother or sister.....at some point I feel they have to make their own friends.

Hugs debbie

**ajrsmom** · #4 (**permalink**) 07-20-2008, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by debknechtel

Barb for me it depends on the family.....if it is a family we chum with on a reg occasion I will sometimes let a sibling stay......most of the time no though.....I have had parents ask me when their child is invited can the other brother or sister come too as they are upset their sibling is going.....I wsas shocked to be asked this......I said no sorry but it is my son's birthday and he does not even know the brother or sister.....at some point I feel they have to make their own friends.

Hugs debbie

I agree with you, Debbie, about the birthday people. I would never aske if one of my kids could tag along to a BD party!

barbszy · #5 (**permalink**) 07-20-2008, 04:39 PM

In one school my kids were in, "tagalongs" were to be expected at birthday parties!!! In fact, one time I took Big DS to a party and DD was home with DH. The party parents asked me where she was--they had expected her. I said that the party was a time for Big DS to enjoy his friend's special day and left it there. That family, the next year, invited them both. It was nice of them, but unnecessary, I thought.

In the case I was asking about now, it is an older sibling. Adventure Boy's older sister, age 11 or so, is coming around a lot with him and wants to play with him and Luke. DD is really not interested in playing with her. And it has been getting tough because I have to referree the 2 siblings. So I have decided that I am just going to tell her that it is just time for Luke to have a friend over.

**ajrsmom** · #6 (**permalink**) 07-20-2008, 06:28 PM

I think that you're doing the right thing. You shouldn't have to referee the whole time and you shouldn't be put in a babysitting position everytime they are there to play.

Is she the only girl her age in your neighborhood? If so, maybe it's hard for her to make friends but still, they shouldn't bicker when they are at your house.

barbszy · #7 (**permalink**) 07-21-2008, 04:34 AM

Tami, she has friends in the neighborhood. The other sister (DD's age) does not. But DD does not encourage her to come here either, which is fine with me.

I can't see why kids 5 years older would choose to play with a couple of 6-year-olds anyway. And I don't need their sibling issues, and the kicking, punching and name-calling.

**Sammi1961** · #8 (**permalink**) 07-25-2008, 08:49 AM

Barbszy, in your situation, i would not allow the sibling to say. You should not have to spend your time referreeing the sibligs. If Luke and Adventure Boy get along fine then they should have their time together. I would think a girl 5 years older then her little brother would not be interested in what they want to do and i am sure Adventure Boy does not want to be "bossed around" by an older sibling. I know it is hard when you don't want to hurt someone's feelings but I know I wouldn't want to have to listen to fighting all the time. My dks always had a friend their own age come over and the younger sibling was not invited and I never had a problem with it. The only time a younger sibling would come was if they were friends with one of my dks and then they would play separately from the older dks.