Val, I agree with what you said about keeping your mouth shut and regretting that later. I have done that in the past, MANY times. Then it eats away at me: why didn't I stand up to that? Why didn't I say something? That was why I opened my mouth during that conversation. If nothing else, it stopped the whole thing in its tracks....it got uncomfortably quiet for a minute and then someone just started a new topic.
DeBora, it's in the latest issue, with Paula Deen on the cover. There really is not MUCH to this article. It's on page 12.
Yes I do agree, because the going thing now is to agree it's not popular not to fit in any more. Being that I have always been my own person to some extent, I have no fashion, it's not important to me what what the style are for I'm going to wear what I like even if it is not popular, regardless, but I have learned that people have many different ideas for how they believe to what they feel and act on, so I have learned that being verbally isn't always the right thing to be, I would honestly speak out about important issues, such as our Consitutional Rights, any and all that were trying to taken away from me and my family, these are important issues to me and the others well, everyone should be able to say what they believe or feel without having the stigmatism of being rejected just because one deosn't agree with them. Isn't that our Constitutional Right as along we are being respectfull?
I read the blip of an article. It discussed that if you are new to the group, you are considered an outsiders at first. It is interesting and so true. When you first join a group, you shouldn't disagree, even if one person in the group does too. It is okay for a group member to disagree, but not you as you are still considered an outsider. It was an interesting article. I wish they had included more advice for people though besides "bring a platter of cookies." lol Thanks for sharing.
I guess I will never be a part of a popular group cause i can't keep my mouth shut.LOL However I will try my best to say things in such a way as to not point figures or acess blame. Sometimes it is unadvoidable though.
I don't like confrontations . But I have strong beliefs and more often than not I will make my feeling on any given subject known. Unfortunately I am very strong willed and don't know when to shutup. I feel compelled to sway at least one person to my way of thinking. Sometimes this is a terrible personality trait.
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Grandchildren are Gods way of compensating us for growing old.
Barb, the more I read this thread the more a phrase that my Mom taught me comes to mind: "All it takes for evil to triumph in this world, is for good men to stand and do nothing"
I'm not sure where the quote originated, but growing up there was a cross stitch posted in our kitchen (along side a framed copy of the Ten Commandments, The Golden Rule, and Desiderata by Max Erhmann.) It was part of the spiritual consciousness with which I was raised.
So I believe if it's important (as this issue was to you) that we have a moral imperitive to speak out rather than to stay silent for the sake of social propriety. Now that moral position is a lot easier said than done in our day to day life.. But when we get it right it's a good feeling.
Thanks, Val. I think that quote you posted is right on.
The original article used a book club as an example, and said that you shouldn't disagree with the majority position until you were established in the group. I guess if it were a matter of "did I like a book or not" it would be no big deal. That's a pretty low-stakes issue.
But I have spent enough time in my life beating myself up for keeping my mouth shut when it really mattered. I don't want to do that anymore. I want to have the courage to stand up when it's important. And as my kids grow older, I am even more aware of the example I must set for them.
