Friendship

[bjluv40]

How much work should you put into a friendship? Sometimes it seems I'm doing all the work!

[trekmom]

I know what you mean. I used to think I was doing all the giving and getting very little in return-except for what I thought was friendship - which if it is true friendship then it is worth working for alot! But if your friend is just a taker and not really giving much as a friend then maybe things need to cool off a bit.
Right now I don't feel that I have many, if any, real friends in my life. We moved here in 1992 and left all our friends in FL. I know it was tough on our kids but they've been able to make friends through school and all. My husband is a bit hard for new people to understand and if the people he meets don't have some similar interests then it's almost impossible for them to become friends.
I started working after moving here and the hours I had made it virtually impossible to make any real friends. I had friends at work but not the kind of friends that you go out with and do things with. I really miss that alot.
Don't know if I helped to answer you question at all-but it's kind of difficult to tell people here what I'm missing the most.
Take care

[Abear]

Originally posted by bjluv40
Sometimes it seems I'm doing all the work!

Myself!!!! :mad:

I have a "friend" whom I have not spoken to in at least two months. Not really sure if she was ever a "real" friend.

Anyway, I got tired of always being the one doing the calling, inviting, etc.... So, I decided to stop and see where it took us. Well, I haven't spoken to her since I stopped ! Actually, I did speak to her once.....at our DS' school on report card day. She said "Hey! We never talk anymore, call me sometime." I just said, "Yeah, give me a call." And she hasn't called yet.

Sad thing is, DS # 1 used to be best friends with her son. When they got into middle school, they took different elective classes and started hanging with different groups..... and kind of grew apart but sometimes they still hang out after lunch.

Guess our "friendship" was based on the two boys being close friends...............

I have it kind of tough as I am a SAHM and caretaker to my 84.5 yr old FIL and all of my friends here work outside the home.

Originally posted by trekmom
We moved here in 1992 and left all our friends in FL.

Yeah, I know how that is. We moved here in '98. Kids made friends at school, DH made friends through work, plus renewed friendships from when he lived here before he went into the Navy.
That kind of left me hanging!

[tutterbear35]

I kow how you guys feel it seems like i'm the one putting all the work into the friendship and they dont put any effort it gets to the point where i just want to give up!!! Its just like a marriage you both have to work at it!! hugs, kim

[mactom18]

some tiem friend are like only need you when they need you i now of a person tell ing me that she knwo a friend who got mad at her for her talking to her boyfriend her boyfriend went to this person as a friend just to tlak aboutsome of his problem and she wont talk to that friend cause of it this is not right maybe that boy felt he coud tlak to this person and she could help .

[Candy]

Hi all, sometimes it is had being a friend. I am very outgoing and mostly high spirited,take charge kind of person. myself and a few friends have planned special birthday parties for every one it seems. about 8 or so friends got 40th surprise parties which I either started or was involved in. My closest friend called me and said what are we going to do for so and so's birthday. Well my 40th came and went...now 50 aproaches and we will see. I try not to be selfish but it feels sometimes like I am not apriciated.

I thing we all have times like these. And I also think there are takers and givers and mostly I'm a giver but sometimes I would
like to be a taker. I try to put myself in the other guys shoes but sometimes they just plain don't fit. Thanks for letting me ramble.

[tashablueyes]

My parents got divorced when I was 14 and we moved to a sister town and i kept in contact with them for a few months, but realized that my new friends were much healthier for me, so I was not too upset about it, although, it does seem lame now not to have kept in touch

[howdy2yall]

I must say that I have 2 very special friends....so special that the three of us just returned from a 19 day trip out west and never had a harsh word between the three of us. What a fun time we had and nobody could believe that three women could go off that long and not get "mad" with one another.....

[tashablueyes]

GOod for you! THat is awesome.


My two best friends and I are the same way, unfortunately with our weird schedules and families we just cannot seem to make the time to see one another/ It is totally depressing only e-mailing and the occasional call... I mean we do play phone tag, but it is just not the same.

[Candy]

I use to belong to a CB Club and there where about 12 couples we did things with. The club fell apart due to everyone being busy. Three couples became very close friends ...we camped a lot together. Well we have in the last year went different directions... I miss them sooooooooo much. I am still very close to one girl ...she is like the sister I never had. The three couples and us have been trying to get us reunited some how but every ones schedules conflict. Oh well ...I guess that is life and I am supper happy for anyone who gets to go on trips with friends...it's the greatest!