Death Of Only Child

[LILA]

This is a very upsetting topic. Has anyone else out there lost an only child. I would like to hear from them. I'm going through a thirteenth anniversary of my loss this month and trying to keep very busy during this very difficult time of the year. How are you coping?

[LILA]

I am so very disappointed that no one responded to this. It really has upset me. I can't believe there is no one out there that has lost a child in the month of August.
I guess I just needed a little support as the anniversary date is nearing. Well, I tried. Thanks anyways.

[Shawn]

Lila, I am sorry you feel this way.

I have never lost a child so I can not imagine how you feel. I would not know what to say other then I am sorry for your loss.

As for others not responding, they may have never gone through the horrible ordeal you have or they may just not want to talk about it if they did. We all have to respect they way other feel.

Once again, I hope you get the support you need. SOrry I could not help you

[LILA]

Hi Shawn: Thank you. I appreciate you posting and it means so much. I agree there may not be people that have lost a child but if they did most people would be willing to talk about it given the opportunity. Alot of people are with the misunderstanding that we are different. A part of me died with him. We are in a way but we are still human. I would like hearing from people. Anyone that has experienced the death of a close family member has a general idea. When I lost my mother I feel that I lost my mother and best friend. With my son it was different. He was 16years old. I won't go into the details but it is the absolute worst experience a mother or father will ever experience in their life. My close friends call me a survivor. I don't know about that because it took a very long time to deal with the grief, guilt and all those other feelings with losing an only child. I had built my life around him then he was gone. I had to develop an entirely different lifestyle to go on. Yes, the pain is as fresh as it was 13 years ago but I am moving on. I did learn to enjoy life again but there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him. Thanks for caring enough to post. Maybe there are just a lot of people out there that don't know what to say. I just say treat me like a human being that's all.

[hoboswife]

Lila,
I can't say that I have ever had your experience. God willing, I never will. My heart goes out to you. My brother lost his daughter (one day before her 18th birthday) in a car accident. I have seen the pain he has went through and his wife too. It has only been a year since the accident and I know they struggle every day. I will tell you what I told him the day she died. I am so sorry for your loss. I know that the words don't help much but I don't know what else to say.
My sister-in-law told me that people treat her differently know. That her neighbors don't come to visit anymore. That her friends don't call her as much anymore. It is hard for a person on the outside to express how sad they feel for you because they don't want to upset you or bring up feelings that hurt you. Many people just take distance because it is easier.
I hope that you get through your anniversary okay and that you can smile in knowing that now you have an angel in heaven. May peace be with you on your sad day.

[LauraLee]

Both my mother and I have both lost a baby but no one can ever know how you are feeling. I was 4 when we lost my sister on the operating table to have her lazy eye fixed, from that day on my mother has always put the TV or the radio on as soon as she gets up because she couldn't deal with the silence. it's a habit that everone in the family does even now 47 years later. I lost my baby 28 years ago, he only lived a few minutes but I still have a hard time on Sept.17th. I find it calming to think of my sister watching over him in heaven.
Laura

[LILA]

Thank you for the remarks. Yes, it is difficult if you aren't directly in this situation but all I wanted was for people to treat me like a human being. It is a heartbreak, that's for sure. My son was 16. I didn't mention that I had two miscarriages after that. I had my only son for 16 years and I will say at least I have memories.
I do have to admit, I'm guilty with having the tv or radio or music on all the time. I appreciate you taking the time to post. I'm doing okay but still crying alot. It still seems 13 years later like it was yesterday.
I did move on and do try to enjoy life. I had someone tell me that I had a lot of nerve laughing and trying to enjoy myself because my son died. What else can I do?

[LauraLee]

Anyone who would make a remark about you having a carefree moment must have lost their mind. Life is for the living and as much as we loved our children we must continue our lifes. Oh, just wanted you to know that I would have posted eariler but was on vacation and didn't see your post till yesterday.
Laura

[LILA]

Hello:
I truly appreciate anyone that has replied to this. Thank you so much. It means alot to know there are people that care enough to take the time.

[Abear]

Lila, as the anniversary of your son's death approaches again, I hope you will remember that you'll be in my thoughts & prayers as you deal with it.

I think losing one's child has to be the most horrific thing a mother could go through.


((((H U G S))))