Son-in_lawlessness - Page 2

Topsail5 · #11 (**permalink**) 09-10-2007, 02:05 PM

Yea i have a friend thats called here wanting to give her a good Job but i am scared that she would mess that up and i dont want to hurt anyone with a screw up . she finished college with a 4.0 but is so stupid in daily life . Thank goodness shes not the motherly type or i am sure he would talk her into kids . At this point she has issues with kids due to the fact she keeps his son every summer and he is a double hand full and makes her say shes never having children . I can only hope that she keeps that frame of mind for a while .

**DeBora4BobbyL** · #12 (**permalink**) 09-10-2007, 09:54 PM

Topsail, it sounds as though your DD is book smart and may not have interpersonal skills. It may be a good thing in that she intellectually knows that she isn't mother material at least at this point in her life. I think you are wise to not mix your relationship with your friend with your DD. That could be disasterous. Plus, you might end up resenting your DD for hurting the relationship with your friend.

I know with my own children, things were so much easier when we could kiss it and make it better or tell them they couldn't hang around certain other children.

Topsail5 · #13 (**permalink**) 09-11-2007, 04:40 PM

Yes 2 years ago i sent my ( son-in-law ) to a job with a Yacht company ( client ) of mine he had the job in the bag and then failed the drug test. Results were He was High when he took the test.. what a crap storm that started with my friend then i had to face him and spend the next year trying to make it up to him .

Topsail5 · #14 (**permalink**) 09-24-2007, 12:53 PM

Same old story . Our daughter came over and wants me to say i a sorry for calling him out and he is going to give the blanket ( i am sorry ) for all he said . But claims not to have said any of it ? this i dont understand ? In 46 years i havent been talked to like that and now i should say sure its all good dont worry about it oh and by the way i am sorry for hurting your feelings ? What a group of kids we have raised !

Mish · #15 (**permalink**) 09-27-2007, 07:32 AM

I think you are doing the right thing.In the beginning you were willing to try and help them out.Your daughter sounds very smart i am just surprized that she is staying with someone who does drugs and who won;t be willing to help them out.Maybe he is collecting unemployment and that is the reason why he don';t want to work.I think all you can do is to be there for your daughter and hopefully one day the son in law will turn his life around or she will divorice him.Good luck.

Mish

Topsail5 · #16 (**permalink**) 11-05-2007, 12:39 PM

Well i did it i bit my lip said i was sorry i had said anything and he is welcome back to any family functions . But i told him me and him will not be hanging out fishing and being old pals that i can forgive but i can never forget what he said about me and my wife . So with that said our daughter is still tiffed at me that i am not calling him out for fishing trips and sitting around eating and watching football . I tried so hard to make him comfy and he hurt me and my wife so i think this is it for our relationship from a distance .

**DeBora4BobbyL** · #17 (**permalink**) 11-05-2007, 01:06 PM

Topsail, I think you did the right thing. As far as fishing trips and such, that is your right to take whom you want on social gatherings. Your DD will just have to understand that relationships are a 2-way deal. You have gone more than half-way by giving your SIL a job, and car, and so on. You even gave him an apology. You have done everything that you can do. Since he is a drug addict and alcoholic, he is more than likely not thinking straight. Until he is clean and sober, he won't. All you can do now is pray that your DD will wake up and find someone who will be a good hubby to her and a good father to her children or that this guy will straighten his act up. She may be buying into his lies as drugs/alcohol can make a person delusional, even to themselves!

Good luck!

cau · #18 (**permalink**) 12-24-2007, 12:49 PM

Stand firm in not helping with any money or job offers. I also went through a very difficult time with my dd#2. She is a recovering addict and drunk. She has not used in 15 years and still calls herself an addict . She never even thought to get clean until all money help stopped from all family members. Whne she finally called and said I am on the waiting list for a year long rehab but have nowhere to stay we let her come home . The rules were no drugs or booze and no old using friends. She made it to the rehab and is leading a good life now so it can happen but you must step back and allow your dd to live her life and make her own mistakes. We really can't conrol anyone but our selves. Good luck

Topsail5 · #19 (**permalink**) 05-19-2008, 05:21 PM

Yes its come from bad to worse now the family cant come here for the wedding they are wanted felons and we had to move it out of state, and top that shes knocked up now he is still $7000 behind on his support payments to his last wife. Kids sometimes i wish i had stayed with dogs and cats