In Search of Joy

[ellenmelon]

The Joy of the Lord is My Strength is how the song goes but is there joy in my life?

If there was would I carry such a long face?
Do we put on a happy face and call that joy?
Put on a garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness, is this joy?
Is there any joy in my life or am I fast becoming a dour old thing without glee and a light spirit?

Let's see where our journey into exploring the way to have joy in our lives will go.

[Stitches]

Dear Ellen, I do not wish to souns unrespectful, because I dont mean to, of course. But you have to be the first reason for the joy in your life, the love you feel for yourself, you have to endulge a bit everyday, so you can smile at your own reflect on the mirror. Don't try to find the joy outside of yourself, but celebrate it freely when it comes. But when you need to feel something warm, to cheer up, learn to find it inside your life. In case you need some support, don't hesitate to contact me. Love


Mariana

[rachela30]

Ellen, That is a good question. I think a lot of us attach joy to the wrong things. My house isn't perfectly clean.. how can I be joyful? My neighbors have a better car, etc. Sometimes we have issues going on in our life, someone is sick, bills are not getting paid, etc. I think a friend had it right when she said "don't worry about tomorrow, God is already there." I think we get so wrapped up in our worries that it is hard to be joyful. I think that is why God invented prayer. We can give our worries to God and know that he will take care of it. We can let go. I know that is not always easy , and it is a simple answer, but I believe that is what we are supposed to do.

I hope this discussion goes on for a while. I would like to learn more about Joy. I know I have a couple answers, but there are so many people here, there has to be more.
thanks for the question Rachel

[ellenmelon]

I don't think either of you are being disrespectful but instead insightful. We learn to see from others' eyes and that is what I hope to learn about. The way we rob ourselves of joy are pretty well described in these posts. That's pretty much how it is, things are tough and then I/we implode on ourselves and begin to beat ourselves up, over and over.

I think a lack of joy shows a few things.

One that I am not trusting God to work things out like he said he would. (O ye of little faith!)

Two, when I am in the midst of a trial or after a trial that others know about, would it be inappropriate to be all smiley and happy? (Who's the grinning idiot over there in the corner?) versus Hide the sackcloth and ashes. A sensitivity to the right place and time is in order too. (Who brought the party pooper?) Learning when to express and how to express joy would be good.

Three, joy is not happiness but joy is a state of mind of some expectation of something from God. Joy is a permanent state and happiness is a temporal emotion. Don't confuse the two.

Is joy a gift? Not so much as it is a FRUIT of the Holy Spirit...right?

Joy is present in the Christmas proclamation by the angels, O Tidings of Comfort and Joy. Comfort I have sought. Now it is time to seek JOY!

[Stitches]

In case there's a God, it is not there to work your, nor anyone's, things out, but to help you see the things he wants you to change. At least that's my opinion. And that simple task brings to me all the joy I need.

[rachela30]

Sort of , i think we have prayer, to see our needs and think through our needs. When we pray to God , it is not to change his mind, but to open ours to what may come. God already knows what will happen. Our prayers ready us for it. Rachek

[ellenmelon]

Yes, that is pretty much it, praying that I will see things and myself through God's eyes. After reading the miracles of Medugorge and other sites I am fairly well assured of God's aliveness and interest in our lives, also was brought up this way so that makes it easier. I think life is pretty grim with no recognition of our spiritual needs.

[rachela30]

You are right about that Ellen! Rachel

[ellenmelon]

I found this in church last night:

Lord you will show me the path of life and fill me with joy in your presence. psalm 15:11

Now I will acknowledge that in addition to seeking God's face, we also might want to use some of the tools he has given us as humans, like our brains.

I remember that CSLewis said he was Surprised by Joy and after studying Christianity for a long time, he finally became a convert due to his personal revelation.

I learned in Centering Prayer that often God will give us emotional consolations that get us past emotional stumbling blocks and allow the Spirit of God to further work in our lives at deeper levels than we can think of, into the essence of ourselves.

I want to tell you about an experience I had while recuperating at the hospital from the second major breast cancer surgery. I had the reduction done on the non cancerous breast about 6 months after the mastectomy and tram flap reconstruction. They wait that amount of time to allow a better match as the tram side needs time to settle down, droop a bit, relax the tissue bed, etc, less swelling. But I digress...

I was isolated as it was in the winter and Danville had a major snow storm that meant for my dh to travel on the roads from SC would have been unwise. So there I was in the hotel style/recuperative room by myself. I looked at the bandages and the body underneath it. I was horrified. I already had an inkling that all the bravery shown so far was going down the tubers and that I might finally have to breakdown and cry but I was not prepared for the reaction that came forth from me.

I looked at my body, the stomach that had lay hidden under 42DDD for so long was now revealed. That huge belly! Those sausage arms! The tubes hanging off my surgical sites that were so foreign looking, called fondly 'grenades' by the staff.

I began to cry of course. And cry. And cry. And sob. I called for the nurse and she came down and said, yes, this is a usual reaction.

To console myself after she left...And I was so cold that I jacked the room temp to sauna levels at 96F. Then I tried humor by using the jiggly bed thing you often find in cheaper hotels and see on the movies, but no, the grim truth was there still to be seen.

I went into the bathroom to wash my face. And then, looking in the mirror, I saw behind my eyes an animal peering out. It was STRONG. It was saying, no matter what, no matter where, no matter when, you are not a person to crumble and I won't let you. You can cry, you can be sad, you can despair, but you won't fall and not get up.

It was not a frightening animal look that I was gazing at. It was though, the animal eyes one might imagine peering out at you from a jungle's depths. At the time it was sexless, neither male nor female, all the conventions and biology I see in myself were stripped from this visage looking at me. It did not speak. It did not try to mentally send me messages. It just was.

We locked gazes, me the Ellen with tears on her face and the animal in the mirror in my eyes steadily holding my gaze, saying nothing, doing nothing, but standing there and looking at me.

There was no decision to make, simply an understanding that deep inside, deep in me, for some reason, is this strength.

God makes us in many ways. He might not give such a thing to many others or he might give it to everyone. I have seen into my soul and I know now that it is there.

*****************************

This past spring, after a long and hard winter with my two daughters and the neighbors and their friends I had an emotional time with an incident, though small, that sent me crawling to the couch in tears, whimpering and beaten. A counselor helped me through all this and at the end he shared with me a dream that he had had. He had dreamt of a grand lionness he encountered. And he said she just stood looking at him. And he said that I reminded him of that lion. Strong, compassionate, capable of much goodness and also much power.

I understand what he meant. I have seen that lion in me, in the mirror, when I was very weak and beaten and hurting and alone.

[rachela30]

Ellen, you should have that published. That is very moving, and I know very personal. You write very well, descriptive, detailed, and passionate. You could give courage to people who can not find it. My friend died January 20, 2006 , on my husband's birthday of breast cancer. She was inspirational. Tough. I don't know how she did it. You are and inspiration.
Thank you for your story,
Rachel