The Extra Step to Victorious Living

[ellenmelon]

the voice of reason
the voice of reason
the voice of reason

my voice of reason vacates me for the first fifteen minutes of any conflict, whether the conflict is real or imagined

i took a plant tour to calm me and it worked, gave me the voice of reason in about 10 minutes...

the voice of reason will stay me

the spirit of God inside me, why so pale when I am upset?

what do I do with this mediterranean nature i've been born into?

in other daily things:

went to camp for an overnight with the girls, joining my dh and the little dog there, absolutely wonderful, couldn't point out any one thing for it was all very nice

now we are back home and dd2 is packing for college, will fill the two cars tonight and move in tomorrow morning...then that's it, she's on campus...only to return home when exhausted or sick or both...must be the college years...i remember them so well and they were good years too

[ellenmelon]

such a day of excitement and transitions, much dew on the brow along with it

1. dd2 goes off to college
2. dd1 gets wisdom tooth (yes, she only has one), pulled
3. mother goes back into hospital
4. mil and fil have microburst in yard which brings down two huge trees, we will get the wood (maple and chestnut) for burning
5. had to report in to work to sign off on a shelf installation

good thing everything occurred in a 10 mile radius of each other!

[ellenmelon]

laid back
laid back
laid back

gotta learn to do this, today's mantra, laid back

Have resumed reading the Psalms each morning when I visit the bathroom, today's was very encouraging.

For each of the three major transitions in my life (cancer being one of them), prior to any knowledge of the event about to happen, God has graciously allowed me to have comfort from the Psalms. I would be reading along and a verse or Psalm of comfort would spring out at me and I would know, take notice of this. Not knowing why until an event occurred and then I would understand.

God gives each of us many gifts. One of his gifts to me is this way of laying advance groundwork. He knows how wound up I can get and with the words in the Bible, He helps me to get my emotions firmly planted so I do not rock and roll but stay the course during any awful event.

It is how I got through getting pregnant by surprise, through cancer, through job loss, and other major life events.

I don't know what is in store for me this time but I do know that God is my support and in the end, my protector.

[ellenmelon]

has it really been two weeks since I last posted?!

moved girls into dorms/home, check
first week of classes (ooo genetics is not hard but my math is rusty for it)
changeover of researchers at work (four of them and all their stuff they want sent and all their stuff they left behind!)
visit to help care for my mom, thank goodness my dh went with me too
turned the house decorations over to fall complete with table setting, so nice to see!
weather turning into 70s daytime and 50s evenings, very nice indeed
found winter jacket to replace old ski coat

how am I feeling? lost, don't know about much but sometimes I get down, is it the changes? or is it just a time in my life to endure once again? I think it's lack of being encouraged...but that I cannot change...so I will bump along as before, checking always for better situations and hoping my dh's company holds out for another two years until his retirement!

[ellenmelon]

think I am over this two week slump - still don't know about applying for other jobs and had to pass up two juicy ads within the university - but will hold out another few weeks and see what the big guy says about keeping me....I sure hope he does even though the other positions looked juicy, I could use another few years where I am now

had all sorts of pensivities to share but now they are lost to the back of my head

got to have lunch today with my two dds, in the alumni garden with the shade, running water, pond, ducks - very nice, good to be together and laughing

dd2 trying out for club lacrosse and dd1 trying out for the ag sorority (she was in ag - immunology but went back to eberly college of science in biotech)

dh and I wondering about his job - hoping it lasts - pray for us!

we did buy a new woodburner on Saturday...and are still chopping up the four fallen trees for next year's supply, we'll share with a sil and another sil (one has a woodburner and one a fireplace)

Amazing how the years take their toll and dh could only do one day of hard chopping and not two, ten years ago it was five, six, seven in a row regardless of the sun overhead...

we had some bad news, a previous boyfriend of dd2 was hit while on his motorcycle and he lost the bottom part of a leg, we think the ankle and foot, very tough for a 19 year old...in college where he never thought he could be, but he is in theatre arts as a stage manager, hope they can fit him out with a prosthesis so he can continue to fulfill his dreams, he is a decent sort and now has to face some hard things, it made us all so sad

classes are going well, still behind three chapters in reading but not concerned bec thank goodness no tests yet!

mil out of the hospital and having more good than bad days but still fragile and at the end of days it is hard - she has a great sense of humor - the hospital psychologist came by and asked her, do you think about killing yourself? she says, no, but I would like to die now already....I think she has had enough of being sick and ill and infirm...she has embraced it though in trooper style by announcing to me during a recent phone call "you know, I am 'housebound' now!" with the enthusiasm of someone who has a new job, ... so she knows who she is and her place in the world, and has found out that while housebound is not great, it does mean constant company and visitors in your place of comfort, I think she'll be okay for a bit longer - God Bless My Mother

[barbszy]

Ellen, prayers for your DD's former boyfriend. I know they can do wonderful things with prosthetic limbs now, so I hope that he will be able to fulfill his career dreams. A little boy I know was born with only half a left leg (stopped at about the knee.) You should see this kid do everything any other kid can do. And when he gets mad at someone, he takes off his leg and hits them with it.

[ellenmelon]

that is funny Barbszy! We haven't heard a word and he is not talking on facebook at all, I suspect between healing and perhaps a lawsuit, he may have to and want to keep mum, wish I knew but like you, keeping him in prayer daily.

my two weeks have been very busy - weekends with my mother so my sister can get her 40 hours in, she does 3 x 12 hour days and then a half day, grueling, and school starts again in November for her, very tough road

celebrated three birthdays in one evening at my house with about 30 people, loads of fun, at my husband's prompting kept the menu simple, chili beef-baked beans homestyle-pasta salad-cornbread- etc and a 4-tiered 4-flavor cupcake presentation. My good neighbor worked for 4 hours right along beside me and we had fun-she was a bakery manager at our Wal Mart so she can do cake, and also does craft shows with her painted clay pots

this past Monday I spent 4.5 hours on my back, in a dental chair, and 3 teeth later, well, my neck is sore but the better part of it, my teeth only ache a little bit now, also, they provided a soft neck roll pillow instead of that hard horseshoe doughnut headrest thingie that came with the chair so a minimal headache for me...I thought I would go into work in the afternoon but then the novacaine wore off...did errands instead, things that don't take a lot of thinking

[ellenmelon]

Well, my dd has not seen the old boyfriend with the foot but her friend has and says he looks good. DD says that if anyone can handle something like this and go on, this boy can cope, so was heartened to hear it.

I so wish I'd taken notes when I had my first EENT exam. For those who don't know that acronym, Eyes Ears Nose and Throat doctor! And they really mean it. I've had a lump in my throat for about 2 years and finally went to the doctor.

YOu know how it is, I can swallow and eat and drink (and gain weight) but I was forever swallowing to clear my throat, it feels like something is perennially stuck in there, and only on one side. I think it is a bit of that nasty carbon fiber I was working with last fall that lodged in there, but then there is the gagging reflex that existed two years before. When the whole picture got together for me, ie: my job had settled down enough I could pay attention to my own self, I got concerned and figured it was time to look at this thing.

From the medical history when the nurse actually was interested in my little difficulties and took notes on the tiniest details, for instance, it's not my ears that hurt, but we talked about those too. But of course, the whole head thing is sort of linked together, but it still fascinated me that whereas I don't notice my head, jsut my aches and pains in my limbs, here is a medical office that specializes in what's going on above the shoulders.

And all the interesting little tools and gadgets that the doctor used! And the doctor actually read the intake questionnaire before he came and talked with me, like wow! WEll, you know, while he was reading it outside the office, I was holding the plastic ear model I had picked up to examine and darn if the hammer, stirrup, and anvil of the ear canal didn't fall out and onto the counter, ooops! put that back before he walked in the door!

He held up tuning forks to my ears, wow, the hearing in that one ear is sure more sensitive than the other.

He dilated my nasal passages at the end with Afrin. It was great for the first fifteen minutes, I could breathe as if I was a 16 year old athlete again. But after two hours all that cold air was giving me a headache.

He mentioned how dry my passages were and told me about adding glycering and baking soda to my nasal rinses. And to be sure to do the bending from the waist thing when doing neti pot so all the nasal membranes get rinsed.

WE looked at the wall chart, the one with all the colors and the inside views of the EENT, and now I understand how the esophagus and the breathing passages to the lungs work together.

He can't biopsy my throat, that's another doctor, but he did order a barium milkshake. Well that test over at the hospital was another adventure, involving standing on a very small platform, drinking a heavy metal in a white thick liquid, and watching it pass through my mouth, throat, stomach on the x-ray machine. Oh yes, and the platform tilts you backwards and then you have to roll around on each side, stomach, back, it was like a ride at the amusement park!

Now this part is gross, but afterwards, the barium of course has to work it's way through your system and out into the toilet. WE had to pour some very large buckets of water into the toilet to get the heavy metal poopies to go down, it had lodged in the trap and was making the fresher water all cloudy!

WEll do you think that's enough medical adventures for this posting!

[ellenmelon]

here is my weekend...how was yours?

NVM cdn't upload pic of the 124 unmatched socks

silver lining? there always is one...

got an additional 43 pairs matched up after cleaning out 3 bedrooms for four people...

too much excess
too much to do
too many people
in this world
boo hoo boo hoo