The Extra Step to Victorious Living

[ellenmelon]

omg connie, thinking of those animals in maurice sendak's story, my wild things and thoughts do go bump like that in the night!

today I woke as usual with the cloud of dread, but it is an old acquantance now, and I was able to ignore it's pleading for attention and put a smile on that was real, so that is good.

working away and being diligent here, also enjoying the last days of my dd2s high school years, tonight is the senior game in lacrosse...blankets, honors, etc, all at the home field on a sunny day...

just 2 1/2 days to go and lunch tomorrow is with a friend in the chemistry department

my dd1 suggested that we poke fun at the anniversary and get a boob cake, I wasn't sure how I would feel about that but it might help...

[bluebird]

It is a thought. If you could laugh about it go for it. If it hurts, don't.

This popped into my mind today. You are still here for a reason. God has plans for you, fate/karma, you are a fighter, you are too stubborn........ whatever fits. You are here and we are very grateful!

I think I might understand a tiny bit how you feel. After the one surgery I had, I was scared to be alone. The day dh went back to work was terrible.

Have you really mourned the loss of your breast? Maybe it is like losing a child? You just learn to cope.

[ellenmelon]

I am not sure about the mourning thing. The reconstruction is convenient and does help me feel better about myself. I have ghost pains sometimes.

Today is going good so far. I have to work a full day or take vacation hours which I am loathe to do.

I am not numb like I was yesterday. I don't feel like a dark cloud is hovering over me. It FEELS like any other day. So maybe that is good.

I am busy at work so that is good too.

Right now I just want to go get a sandwich because breakfast was an oatmeal bar and some almonds, not much at all.

So the big day has arrived and so far it is anti-climatic, good, it can stay that way!

[ellenmelon]

Very busy lately...birthday party for 84 yo fil went well - cut flowers from garden very pretty and shrimp and scallops and burgs and dogs on the grill delicious..now just a lax party for 150 and a grad party for 200 to go, all shared preparations so that is good.

[ellenmelon]

lax party went well, never did sit with family though, did kp duty with five others, fun but I missed sitting with my dh and dd and bf

grad party this saturday and that will mark the end of high school through my kids for me

college to go, fall scheds picked and just a laptop to buy...time flies

got the tomatoes and cukes, pumpkins and peppers in, some more seeds, ate our first salad from the garden, wow, even with some raw kale in it, tasty good

[ellenmelon]

rock and gem show concession went well, comparable to other years, profit is good, we can plow back into future shows and works we do for the community

celebrated dd2's 18th and dd2s bf's 20th (they are like brother and sister) last night with dinner for six at Olive Garden, just under $120 and that included appetizers and drinks and we all took home enough for another meal, we'll do the cake tonight, really a great time

college purchasing for dd2 has begun, for one of the PE classes, a weeklong backpacking venture this summer, need to get shoes, bag, nylon pants, etc. should be a great experience

I got approval to do microbio work with the researchers so things at work are looking up for me...more technical laboratory work

next class is electronics (for the electro portion of the electrochem stuff) and then some more chem and bio this fall, really excited about it all!

[ellenmelon]

didn't have the day off work, heard back from one of the applications but nothing more than got your app so that is good at least...

got to run a quick dna extraction, I remember more than I thought I would from last spring's workshop and study

bought some basic electronic workbooks for the rest of my summer study (self study) and did a brief internet search on molecular nanowires, imagine, a pacemaker run on biologics and not inorganic batteries, so cool

[barbszy]

Ellen, they make pacemakers that do that? HOW COOL! My dad is on his second pacemaker--first one was installed in 1983. And he's had to go in for battery replacements. Amazing how they have improved the technology.

[ellenmelon]

I don't know if it is on the market yet,,,,but they are definitely doing research with them,,,or at least on the parts to do it,,,,yes, way cool!

our 4th was simple, had 7 for dinner (two bfs and a gf plus us 4), then the kids went to the fireworks, dh and I stayed home -- it just felt better to be quiet and I watched the ones in NYC on television, the colors weren't good but the music was and seeing the five (or was it 6?) barges all at once was sort of neat, never did this before, but it was all right, dh had a migraine forming following a fever/flu so he wasn't up to going and of course the dog was glad we were home with her when the town's booming reached us here

tried to get plane tickets to the wedding in NC this next weekend --- going down was good flight times but coming back only one flight at 6 am and that is too much following a night wedding and then a 1.5 hour drive back to the airport....so I guess we do the 10 hour drive thing, ugh!

[ellenmelon]

i am worn out today, had blood tests done and per usual results, fighting a virus think it could be uti but doctor hasn't called yet, going to try homeopathy first, at least my energy should be good for the wedding this weekend in NC