My mom and dad are 71 and 75, just starting to need more help. I LOVE my parents with all my heart and want to help them any way I can! I am the only daughter in town.
Thye still do errands and shopping but very haphazardly and when they think about it or fell like it.
Both of them have trouble carrying the groceries in. I am taking mom shopping tomorrow and told her I will take her every other Friday.
They eat decent but I notice times when I am over that they just have a sandwich or cereal. I am going to start bringing over dinner once or twice a week, something like stew that will last them a couple meals.
My mom has gotten VERY forgetfull so I have got her to put her calendar on the kitchen table and leave it there. I remind her to write EVERYTHING in the calendar and look at it every morning.
We still have dinner together every Sunday and thats when Mark and dad watch football/baseball and me and mom play Quiddler. I am going to start playing quiddler with mom once during the week, too. We played yesterday.
So.............thats what I've got so far and am looking for more suggestions!
Donna, If they are not lactose intolerant, have them stock up on Ensure for times when you or they can't cook a meal. One can is good for one meal. I've used it myself when I didn't have time to make a lunch and had to dash off to work. One can does fill you up and it has lots of vitamins in it (and calories too!)
Also, do they take multivitamins or get vitamin shots? I know some people around their age need to get vitamin B12 shots regularly due to the lack of it in their diet.
Also check with your local county and city and senior center to see if they have any services or activities for people in their age group. Our county used to have someone just go visit someone for a couple of hours one day a week but the budget for that got cut here. The senior center here offers hearty lunches for $4 five days a week. They have to give notice one day ahead.
I hope this information helps. There are a lot more services now than when I went through something similar with my mom back in the 80's.
Donna...Best thing to do is have a nice talk with both your parents to see how they feel about things and how you feel about them. If they are both healthy and see a doctor regularly that is important. Most older people don't eat two full meals a day. Their main meal is in the afternoon, soup and sandwich at night. I like to cook so I make sure we eat fish, poultry & beef so we don't get anemic. Vegetables are important too. Lucky they both have each other and can still get around by themselves.
Since I am their age I know they still have a few more good years to look forward too. Living in an adult community has been a blessing for me for the last twenty years. It is important that they have friends their own age to socialize with too so they can see how they live from day to day.
Now that my husband is older and can not do what he did before life is getting harder. Lucky I have a neighbor that takes me shopping for groceries every week. I have couples in their late eighties that are active and travel in my development. They are both lucky to have a wonderful daughter like You. _______ Sueanne
__________________ *~*~ The secret to happiness is not to get what you want, but to want what you already have.~ *~*
I would recommend having the Ensure bottles for a snack mid morning or late evening the nursing home did that with my MIL as she was not eating enough during meals so when they would give her something to drink it was Ensure. They have juices now too.
I would talk to them about getting yard help if they don't already so that is taken off your shoulders they should be able to get someone to handle it all mowing, raking, snow removal, trimming hedges, etc.
My FIL has had someone doing his yard for years it is a peace of mind knowing when it snows he doesn't have to call anyone as the gentleman will clear the drive & sidewalk twice a day when there is snow. Most time he has already shoveled before FIL would leave the house in the mid-morning.
We have a grocery in town that does home deliveries on Wednesday which is nice for seniors or those that don't have cars in bad weather they can have them delivered instead walking the groceries home.
We also have a drug store that makes home deliveries too so you might want to look into that in your town.
We have a seniors center that will pick up or they drive or are dropped off so you might see if your parents would be interested in going even once a week would get them out with others to do crafts, play cards or do puzzles. They have other activities on special days too so you could ask for a calendar of events.
I would ask what meals they like but are no longer able to make anymore so you can make them and package for the freezer. Mini meatloaves could be froze and baked when they want them with out a lot of "leftovers".
I agree that when folks get older a soup and sandwich is enough on most days, mixed with your Sunday meal and perhaps keeping fresh fruit and veggies for them.
However my biggest advise is to give your mom a mothers journal that has prompts in it for her to record her memories. It not only juggles her memory to "exercise" but also gives you a huge gift in return. I gave one to my mom one year for Christmas telling her I knew money was tight for her and all I wanted for next years Christmas present was the book back, with all her memories recorded. They also make them for dads, however mine was not the type to write so you could ask the prompt and record his stories yourself. I learned so much about my mom that I thought I knew already but didn't really know the "fun" details of her growing up. My mom has dimensia and that book at this point is all I have left of her memories. I cherish it deeply.
They also make an heirloom cookbook, but you could easily make your own. Find her hand written recipes and record them for you. You could even ask her to help you make it and take picks of her baking with you and family. My mom was known for her cooking so I'm glad I have that too!
You may want to look into the life line system where if your parents fall, help will come. It can give you both some piece of mind.
Playing quiddler and having them regularly visit is wonderful! Enjoy to fullest so you have no regrets!
I can't tell you how much each of the ladies above me are giving you the best advice and gifts you can receive. Between caring for my MIL last year, my IL's taking monthly trips down about 4 hours south to care for IL's Grandparents (in their 90's) ,and my MIL's BF still taking care of her father two days out of the week (a care giver stays the other five) I know how taxing this can be on you. Very similar and different circumstances. Part of the reason geriatrics don't cook is forgetfulness, lack of interest, not enough people, and night fears - not including HEALTH. My MIL basically quit eating until I came down b/c it was just her at the house at night, my B/SIL and their kids came over during the day a few times a week (25 miles separated them, 2500 separated DH/me form MIL), and barely more so when she was diagnosed w/minimally stage 3 Cancer. We'd go shopping and she'd buy the ensures, microwavable meals, flavored water, soft drinks, vegetables, fruits, etc. And then get home and drink coffee all day, maybe stopping to eat toast or call the "kids" to see what their dinner plans were. She did the same routine when I was down, and the "kids" treated her as if I wasn't there and still saw less of her. I know part of it was b/c of the illness, BIL working (only one working), SIL took MIL to some appts and include a meal, then leave until weekend or next appt. I don't cook often here, but w/MIL I did allot of cooking, she didn't always eat it, but it was here if she chose to.
She also walked out to get her mail with her dogs when I was here, but not after I left...She said she became dizzy a few times and scared she would fall. Yet when we all asked her for a pt care-giver she declined.
Since you have two parents and are the only one nearest to them, I suggest you talk not only to your parents but the rest of your family about the situation at hand - and if you can, visit more often and/or call to chat with mom about her day (i.e. what day it is, time, what she's done, what they will be doing, etc), if they have any friends near by - see if they can visit with them, if they live where a club house is local see if they can go there, etc...Know a niece/nephew/cousin who could use a place to stay - suggest that s/he live w/parents for low rent and caring of them. This way they can have their separate day activities and someone will be w/them at night for dinners or snacks, and "if" an emergency arises.
__________________ LIFE means...
Living
In
Faithful
Endeavors
All of the above ladies gave great advice. If your mom is getting forgetful has she been evaluated by a geriatric specialist? The Ensure is a great idea, my mom came to live with us and we encouraged her to go for a ride with whoever was running around. This provided great 1 on 1 time with her grandkids as well as kept her active. IF possible can they hire someone to come in and clean once a week or even every few weeks? This eliminates the fear of them getting hurt but see about senior citizen groups for mental activities Good Luck and ENJOY them as long as you have them. I would give anything for just a few more hours with my folks
__________________ Before you Act: Listen
Before you react: Think
Before you spend: Earn
Before you criticize: Wait
Before you pray: Forgive
Before you quit: Try
:pumpki nsg 
