I've been divorced as of April 3rd, 2003. I left my marriage after 7 months due to my husband's arrogance, control, manipulation, pride, male ego, lack of compassion, mental and emotional abuse.
I really did not see this man during the dating phase. IF I would of seen it, I might not have married him. But then again, I was in love and we all know how blinding love can be .. The man I fell in love with and married IS not the same man I left 7 months later!
Since my departure from the marriage, he never contacted me at all! Due to his pride; his male ego I didn't expect him to contact me at all.
A month after our divorce, he did call. He wanted to see me, to discuss with me what happened between us. I asked him, "why now"? Why 6 months later? Still, I decide to meet with him since I too had many questions unanswered.
Well, between his tears and mine, he tells me that he HAS changed. It took him these months to realize how badly he treated me and that he HAS changed. I told him that I don't trust him. Why should I trust him. The only reason I would know if he HAS changed is by living with him day in and day out. Something, I am NOT willing to go through again. When I left him, I left without the thought of returning back to him; to a relationship.
So, I told him it is best for us to leave it as is .. he living his life, I living my life. IF we're meant to be, let it be God's will.
Yet, he kept calling me. I too called him once. I woke up that morning thinking of him. It wasn't the first morning since I left the relationship that I had thought of him. I do care for him. I'm NOT in love with him but I do care for him. So, when he tells me if he can write me whenever he feels up to it, I told him yes. Well, my big mistake. He has since written me 3 letters; send me roses, a CD .. and once again has called me, wondering why I haven't called him in reference to the letters.
He is well aware that I still have feelings for him. He "claims" that love for me has filled his heart AGAIN. He has the ability with words .. somewhat of a "smooth operator".
My debate is, should I give him a second chance? Or by giving him a second chance, I'll be falling once again in his trap and this time around, it is out of revenge .. hence, he will be the one LEAVING ME!
Or move on .. as I originally wanted. See, I am afraid that eventhough I don't trust him, I will once again fall for him and I had enough courage and strength to leave him then .. Don't know how much strength and courage I'll have this time around.