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Yes, I have played games sometimes (devils advocate?) to get people to respond to let their feelings out so I can understand more how they feel, however --- mostly when in person to person talks.
I was raised in an orphanage and when I was taken out of there to live with a ‘man that was not my father’ I eventually said those same things ---“you’re not my father” ---and there were reasons for those remarks (my reasons ---mostly selfish/self centered?).
However, I didn't mean to play games this time. I thought I could really feel for this girl. I know how 'margie' (my brothers'/sisters' mother) felt.
To this girls questions –-- when I was young, I was there, I did that, and I know now (yes even then) why I did it --- to hurt ---to get attention --- to strike back against the latest beating (I could not/would not admit it then). Heck, I think back 50 years ago--- why I said the things I said --- I try to be honest with myself, I said things when I was young and I’ve gone back and done some “soul searching” to understand why my children/step-children/grandchildren say/do things they do.
I thoght that this girl ask for opinions ---thoughts--- (see first entry in this link)?
(-I'm sure all you know what I'm saying!!! The problem is, my kids love my boyfriend, but when they get pissed off at him (sorry) they say.....your not my dad!!! The thing is....they don't want anything to do with there dad!!!!! )
And I asked in my response the same questions that I asked myself --- I feel I know my answers. (I’m not proud of them,--- but---)
When my stepdaughters came into my house, I tried to be ready for those remarks and now today--- 8 and 6 years after leaving this house --- they tell me that I was their real father. (the steps treat me better than my own --- but I understand that --- some day they might also ---maybe) Children are precious ---love, guide and protect them.
P.S I did find my real father when I was 21 yrs. old
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In life what sometimes appears to be the end is really a new beginning
