Non-custodial Parents

CHERYL12661 · #1 (**permalink**) 03-26-2005, 10:57 AM

I am wondering if there are any non-custodial parents here. My sons moved in with their father in April 2002 and I have not had much of a relationship with them since. My oldest doesn't really want to see us and my younger son wants to but his father will not allow him to.

I was just wondering if there were any other non-custodial parents here.

Abear · #2 (**permalink**) 03-30-2005, 07:23 AM

Hi Cheryl. I am not a non-custodial parent but I was just wondering..... don't you have legal papers giving you visitation with your sons? If not, I would seriously think about doing so, It sounds to me as if your ex is seriously undermining your relationship with your sons.

CHERYL12661 · #3 (**permalink**) 03-30-2005, 04:35 PM

Yes I do have legal papers. I fought him for custody and we went to counseling and all. However, my sons are 20 and 15 so it is more difficult then if they were young. I could drag my ex into court repeatedly but that would only put my sons into a tug-a-war. My 20 year old does not really want to see us right now. The 15 year old wants to see us but he is afraid of his father. I am getting more concerned about the situation though because his grades have gotten so bad I am not sure he is going to pass 9th grade.

johnsgirl3965 · #4 (**permalink**) 03-31-2005, 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by CHERYL12661
I am wondering if there are any non-custodial parents here. My sons moved in with their father in April 2002 and I have not had much of a relationship with them since. My oldest doesn't really want to see us and my younger son wants to but his father will not allow him to.

I was just wondering if there were any other non-custodial parents here.

Hi Chery,
My name is Janice and I am a non-custodial parent too of 2 great kids,My daughter who is 12 and my son wo is 11.It's a long story but if you want to talk I'm here.

crystalk33 · #5 (**permalink**) 03-31-2005, 09:34 AM

Hi,
My DH is a non custodial parent of a 17 year old daughter. I know where you are coming from! She lives with her Mom and they never tell us anything. She has been passing school by the skin of her teeth for the last 6 years. She got in trouble with the law and we were never told! She also has unlimited freedom and ended up having a baby last year.

I know it is rough but all that we can do is keep trying to let them know we love them. Someday maybe not until they are in their 20's they will return to you. Don't quit calling! If you really want to push it with your 15 year old. Try to plan a weekend visit. Take your visitation papers with you when you go to pick him up. If they are not there or your ex won't let him come then leave drive straight to the police station and have the cops go with you to pick him up.

Good luck!

webe · #6 (**permalink**) 04-03-2005, 09:59 AM

Cheryl..
I am a custodial parent, but right now my SO is going through a messy divorce, and his (not soon enough to be) ex is reaking havoc with his 14 and 16 year old sons. We are both very frustrated with the situation.. They have been in a shelter for ALMOST 1 year, the judge won't even talk about my SO taking physical custody of the boys until they are out of the shelter. (This shelter they have been in since Sept. after getting kicked out of the last one) So in other words...til SHE is out of the shelter. Yet she hasn't been looking, and the oldest is failing in school, and getting in trouble constantly... both his councelor and the principal have suggested that he sign out of school and get his GED, because he is smart enough to do it right now. The youngest, keeps getting in trouble and is walking a fine line on whether he will pass the 8th grade. She has not looked for work in over a year (she was fired for time taken off ) She uses her child support on her, and we know for a fact we need to get the law on her. (another story)
But with his boys in the past year and 1/2 they have been moody with my SO always one hating him, and the other seeing that mom isn't always truthful with them.
I know it is difficult, but even knowing that their mom is talking bad about him, and I for that matter, we have NEVER bad mouthed her infront of them, and ALWAYS been supportive of her when the boys are giving her a hard time....
All I can say is PLEASE try and stay in touch with your children, and be supportive of their father, (even if he isn't with you) , because 9 out of 10 times they will turn around.... and with your oldest I wouldn't be surprised if it happens soon! (He is about the age of all of the sudden light dawns-lol)
But I am here if you need an ear!!
Sue~
P.S. Get intouch with your youngests school and make sure you get duplicate information (detention notices, progress reports, report cards, teacher meetings...etc.) My SO had to do that because his ex wasn't telling him a thing.... It will help you in the long run.

momshouse · #7 (**permalink**) 11-08-2006, 09:29 AM

i am a grandparent who has just gotten non-custodial parent rights on my grandson.can some help me understan what the rights of a non-custodial parent are?

redcardinalbird · #8 (**permalink**) 11-09-2006, 12:22 AM

momshouse - I found the following two sites that might help you. Maybe some others that are in the same situation can help you.

http://www.ancpr.org/

http://family-law.lawyers.com/child-...al-Parent.html