Who Manages the Finances in your Home?

[SueAnn]

I am the one in this household that manages the money. I am also the one who is the "bread winner" in the household. My dh was divorced when we got married and doesn't make alot $$$ to begin with but thens pays$$$ in child support. BUT that another subject! I am very very anal about the bills to the point where I lose sleep worrying. When I met dh out of the divorce he took with him $10000 in debt and they didn't own a house or have cc debt. So we were very tight for three years. To the point we would roll up pennies to get milk and bread alot of times. Now I still feel that I need to keep my household tight like that somewhat. My dh and family all laugh at me I may never be a rich person but I know that I don't pay for things with plastic and I buy things as we can afford them and need them.
This brings me another problem: dh wants me to keep track of the bills but when he wants something I am to have the $$$ right there. When I don't I feel guilty so I work extra to have the $$$$. I am tried of the extrawork and I have discussed this with him... Dh says he doesn't need the things if it means that I am not at home. But he still doesn't stop asking to make purchases. Anybody have any ideas??
Sue
Wife to Bob
Mom to 4

[ronsan]

Originally posted by SueAnn
Dh says he doesn't need the things if it means that I am not at home. But he still doesn't stop asking to make purchases. Anybody have any ideas??

Sue:

That's a pretty heavy load you are carrying right now so try extra hard not to burden yourself any further with feeling guilty or working extra to find the money UNLESS these purchases he wants to make are medical necessities.

One suggestion would be to establish a given amount of money each payday that goes to him for his purchases. That is his $$ to do with as he wants and be forewarned that you must never question or comment on what he elects to spend it on. It is his, period.

With this system, if he wants something that is fairly costly and more than his weekly allotment, he has to save for it. Don't let him use a credit card for these purchases with repayment from his personal monies.

Sandie

[elg71]

Hubby had been doing the bills until the first of this year. When we met he was selling the house from his first marriage and settling their joint debt, even though they were already divorced. It just seemed natural to let him deal with the bills, since 95% was from his first marriage and I had none, the habit stuck for 6 years until the first of this year when I decided to share the headache. Turns out we had more debt than I was aware of, although he always paid the bills on time. So, I set my mind to turning that around.
I've always been a penny pincher or as my hubby says, I'll squeeze a penny till it turns into a dollar. LOL! I was doing great, everything paid ahead of time and extra on the highest APR credit card. I even have hubby recording every cent he spends so I know what percentage went to utilities, credit cards, gas, food, household extras(i.e. cleaning supplies), etc.. So at the end of the month we can see where our money went. This has helped him to think before he buys. You've heard the saying, 'he who dies with the most toys wins'. My hubby has! I use to say, 'you make the money, you pay the bills, if we can afford it, get it' when hubby would ask (and he always asked) about buying something, now I say, 'No'.
It's been great and even he is happier not having the headache. But, last week some moron was abusing the over-time at my hubbies job and got it cancelled for everyone. This over-time was $1200 extra a month towards bills and the key to getting us to a point where we could manage without it, now I have to find an extra $400 a month just to pay the bills. AAAGH! Why didn't I take over these bills years ago? Answer: Because I'm an idiot! Well, I will dig out of this hole I put myself in by not being aware of our finances and I advise anyone out there that doesn't know about their debt and finances because someone else does the bills to find out: ignorance may be bliss, but it could come back to bite you in the butt.

[CAGmomof2]

My DH and I equally Manages our Finances Together but we really don't have a Budget Plan set up that works for us!!
We have tried several diffrent Budget Plans but nothing seems to be the best one for us!!

[clutterbug]

I manage the day to day bill payments using budget map now.
My dh gives direction and insight with regard to investments and family financial planning, as well as consulting with
financial planner. I am happy to "submit" to his desires
in the area of home renovation and only stress the need
to stay out of debt for these things as much as
possible. We'll manage about $2000 in home repair
this year I think. We generally do repairs with
"bonus" money such as income tax returns. We are
very tight on one income, but discovered that the
lifestyle of two income families was not desirable.
We are still working on getting a 3 month survival
cushion in the bank ($7500 is the goal). Money
comes in and out like a river here. In the meantime
we live and eat and have a roof over our head. Wish
we could cut more costs, but are at least moving
ahead in retirment planning. Budgeting keeps us
humble.

[Laura Conrad]

I take care of the money at our house. My hubby brings his checks home and signs them and I put them in the bank. We have a joint account but he hasn't written a check since 1996 on our account when I was sick in the hospital.

[janet]

My Dh and I both discuss our current bills and usually DH writes the checks...he has his own way of doing it and I can't stand how he writes in the ledger...makes my head spin! So I let him do it and it is working out great..communication is the key to our money plan. I don't go hog wild shopping and try to live a simple life. We both do! I am glad not to have to balance the checkbook and try to read his writing! lol.

janet