I have two boys of my own 14 and 8. I have just gotten married and have had my step son living with us for 8 months now. He has only seen his mother twice in that time. She has 3 older children in this order from oldest to youngest, Two girsl and Two boys (one the youngest that is with me) The two girls went to live with there father and that same man adopted my step sons brother. The man that adopted this child is not the biological father. Now she is on ssi (welfare not social security) and has non of her children living with her which 3 of the four are under the age of 18. My husband and I recieved a call from her around my stepsons birthday. She had called my step son at his brothers while he was visiting him and spoke with him. she the called us and told us she felt it best if she stayed away from my step son for she felt it best. Well we do not stop him from calling her or seeing her. but this week he went to call her and here he has no way to get in contact with her for she shut off her phone and maybe moved. My husband and I have decided it may be best if we have me adopt him. If anything happened to my husband then I would still have my stepson. we would still allow his mother to see him and all but I would have all the legal stuff nessassary to take care of him then and he woud stay with me which is a better life for him. I was thinking of bringing this up to him but I don['t think mystep son will go for it, but I know he does not need to be asked. I live in nj so if anyone has any imput or things to offer for advice let me know. My husband is also adopting my one son who is 8 and has only know my husband as his father and my oldest still sees his father and we have made the decition that we would leave this up to him for he still sees his father and has a good relationship with him.
adopting stepchild 
