Looking for Feedback for Foster Care. - Page 2

LorettaB · #11 (**permalink**) 08-28-2004, 04:47 PM

Hi, I think it is a great ideat, but be careful. We also were foster parents. We got a young girl with Reactive Attachment Disorder. She was misdiagnosed at ADHD. We did adopt her, but every year, she is getting more out of control. She has been in therapy for several years, and on medication. Try to find out mental history of birth parents. Loretta

debknechtel · #12 (**permalink**) 08-28-2004, 04:52 PM

Thanks for the advice ...could you tell me what reactive attachment disorder is ??? I've never heard of it. I know many kids around this area suffer from fetal alcohol syndrome within the system. That is why I want to make sure I'm ready for all this ! We have talked to our kids about it and taken their input into consideration also.

Hugs
Debbie

LorettaB · #13 (**permalink**) 08-28-2004, 05:19 PM

Hi, Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) happens when babies or very young children are not held, fed, changed, or nurtured enough. They learn that they can not trust other people. They think that they must be in charge or their life. As a result, they will not look you in the eye, or let you hug and snuggle them. They often hoard food. They will not let the adults tell them what to do. They can be violent. They feel that they must be in total charge or their lives, every aspect. It is a real nightmare. You can look it up on the internet. We have been through the ringer. It is very sad, because we also have her 1/2 sister, and we have to keep an eye on them to keep her safe. We have done everything we possible can to help her. Really check out the background on any child you take into your home, and pray about it. It is easy to love a normal child, but it takes alot of work and prayer to love a child with RAD. Loretta

debknechtel · #14 (**permalink**) 08-29-2004, 04:59 AM

Thanks for posting that Loretta. I have worked with many children with disabilities of many sorts, At my daycare now I have the cutest little guy with downs that is a sweetheart. I have worked with autism, hydro syphliss, cp and others. I had just never heard of that disorder....now i so thanks for educating me

HugsDebbie

MKS · #15 (**permalink**) 08-29-2004, 03:15 PM

Is it possible to start out doing the relief care then switch at a later time? It seems that would be a good way to see how things work & how your family handles the different situations. It also has a firm time frame if you feel attatchment to the kids would be a problem.

**Sammi1961** · #16 (**permalink**) 08-29-2004, 04:24 PM

As hard as it is to let a child go, you have to keep in mind the positive influence you have had on that child and know he or she will probably remember you all of their lives. Though children are sometimes in your home for quite awile, the goal is to hopefully reunite the child with their birth parents if at all possible. Onew good way to go if you think you might get too attached is to do crisis care. This is when a child is placed with you in an emergency situation (you may not get much notice) but you usually do not have the child for more than two weeks. This worked out great for me as my children always had a very hard time saying good bye to long-term foster children. Two weeks was better because it was more like having a friend sleep over for a couple weeks. Long enough to have fun and become friends but not long enough to become so attached that they are devastated when saying goodbye. There is a huge shortage of crisis homes everywhere. Respite care is also needed. It gives the other foster parents a much needed break and you don't have the kids so long you become too attached. Both options are good. Just something to consider.

debknechtel · #17 (**permalink**) 10-04-2004, 08:49 AM

Hi there Everyone

Just wanted to thank all of you for your input, I think we are tending more towards the emergency care at this point and after talking with our kids about it. We can always chnge to full care at a later date. Now we just need to put our boys together in a room, which they approved!! and move my daughter into the next big room and make the other room up to accomodate a child. So we are hoping to be ready by January, Gives the kids time to settle into the idea.

Thanks again for all your comments

Hugs
Debbie

sunny_mom · #18 (**permalink**) 07-19-2005, 09:03 AM

Quote:

Is it possible to start out doing the relief care then switch at a later time?

I think that is a very good idea if it is allowed!
I am curious to hear the answer to that!

debknechtel · #19 (**permalink**) 07-19-2005, 10:47 AM

Here in Canada it is possible to do relief emergency care and at a later date switch to full time care. Due to some health issues our application is on hold, we were unsure if my health would hold up as they thought I had a magor illness. now I am just trying to let go of all the stress from that before we proceed.

Hugs Debbie