| I learned, when my kids were about your kids' ages, that the more I think for them, the less they will think for themselves. I read the book, "Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World," by Glenn and Nelson. It's the only self improvement book that ever made me feel terrible about my parenting. It discussed how parents rush to bring kids their coats when it gets cold at school because the child forgot it, the parent brings the child his lunch or lunch money for the same reason, and so on. It mentioned that when parents don't allow their children to think for themselves, their brains don't develop properly so that will ever be able to think for themselves. It was a pretty serious discussion. The authors discussed NOT bringing your child his lunch if he forgets it. If the child misses one meal, it will not kill him because he will learn to think for himself and when he grows up, he won't have problems as an adult who can't keep up with his stuff.
Anyway, I am sure that you can get the 1st edition and maybe the 2nd at the library. I really liked what these authors stated about brain development as well as your child being about to manage his life as an adult once his parents have been doing all his thinking for him during his life.
I have learned the hard way not to rescue my children. Let them suffer the consequences of their behavior while they are young and he consequences aren't too bad and he has loving parents to work with him.
Good luck! |