This question was asked a long time ago on FamilyCorner.com, long before our boards were installed. I continue to receive questions and comments on this subject, so I have decided to bring it here where people can discuss it. Feel free to jump in if you like.
Here is the original question and subsequent comments:
"14 yr. old wants belly button ring!"
Q: "My 14 year old daughter wants to get her belly button pierced! I was appalled and said NO WAY, but she is acting as if I killed her best friend. I am afraid that I may have overreacted and that she may rebel against me. We have a fairly close relationship, but this decision seems to have really upset her and she seems very distant. What should I do?"
Answers from our members:
Lori wrote:
I do say you made the right decision to say No. I would tell her that right now she is too young. Have her do research on the pros/cons of getting her belly pierced and you'll probably won't have the conversation again. Good Luck to you.
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Fiona wrote:
My suggestion is that you tell her you will revisit the issue in one year. 14 is too young. If she still wants to have it done then, it should be her responsibility to find a reputable person to do it complete with credentials and references that you insist you see first. Insist that you go with her and that this is the only part of her body she will have pierced. If I had to choose between my daughter getting her navel pierced and a tattoo, I'd choose (reluctantly) the piercing. At least she will be able to change it if she doesn't like it or when she outgrows the fad as we all know she will.
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Roberta wrote:
Well, that's what's wrong with "Children" we start saying," Oh, they might do this or they might do that." They need to learn, now, that sometimes thing don't always go there way, you are the adult, you make the decisions, you are in charge, not the child. They will respect you later for this and will themselves be better parents someday.
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Erinn wrote:
I think that 14 is an old enough age to make this sort of decision, and if you sit with her and guide her through the decision making process of it, you could actually start setting a thinking process for the future. You should review the information together, go through the procedure together and talk about the health aspects and the fact that if she doesn't like it, she will always have a mark there. But after sharing all your feelings about it, I don't think that belly piercing is such a big issue to have a fight over and throw your relationship into trouble. You would want to save that for more important moral issues like sex, dating, drugs and stuff that would really screw up her life. But if you break off the communication over this tiny issue, you may pay the consequences later on. I have dealt a lot with parents of younger teenagers, and it seems that this is the sort of thing that starts building that breakdown in communication, neither being willing to budge from their viewpoint. If you do feel so strongly about not doing it, you should stick to that decision, and face whatever happens. But if really isn't that big of an issue, and your relationship together is more at stake, then you should reconsider the damages and benefits of letting her do it, or not letting her do it.
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Rachel wrote:
I am 18 yrs. old and have had my belly button pierced. Note I got it pierced when I was 17, not 14. The only reason my mother allowed me to do this was because she felt I was old enough and mature enough. After having it in for 5 months, it got infected and I had to take it out. It got infected because I play sports, not because I didn't take care of it. If I was in your situation, I would make your daughter aware of what could happen and let her know it gets in the way if you play sports. If she still persists on getting it pierced, allow her too, otherwise she could just do it herself, which is much more dangerous.
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a teen myself... wrote:
I'd suggest for you to show her pictures of injured people who had their belly pierced. Now that would changed her mind immediately !
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Glenda wrote:
If it's not a moral issue, then I don't see the point in fighting over it. I'd give her a few weeks tops and she'll be sick of caring for it and take it out. I truly believe we have to pick our battles. I want to fight over only what I must. The moral issues are something I consider a must. anything else, is just not worth it. Just my opinion....
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Joan Bramsch wrote:
No, you weren't being nasty, dear Parent. You were being a very wise Mom. She hasn't paid a bit of attention to the dangers of Hepatitis and other diseases she can get from being pierced. She only wants what she wants when she wants it. I say Bravo to you!
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Grandma wrote:
Stick to you guns!
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Kristy wrote:
All I have to say is good job stick to your NO! Don't give in to her.
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Continued.....