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Hi Elaine...
My dad has vascular dementia..it has been progressing over the past few year, through many stages and phases.
It is a kin to Altzheimer's disease, but it also produces micro strokes, so there is some physical deterioration as well.. He is 85, and has been deteriorating since about the age of 81...
My dad is a ghost. He is no one I know, and he knows no one. The man I knew and love is gone. And I miss him. It's odd to mourn for someone while they are still alive. People don't understand what I mean.. not unless they have "been there".
It is sad and terrifying. I don't go see him anymore. The visits would only be for the sake of other family members, and I have no desire to please them. His wife visits every day, and my brother who lives nearby visits several times a week. The rest of us live farther away.. so the others visit less often.
I remember my dad for who he was.. and although I long to ask him to remember me, and love me again, I realize that the man who had the power to do that died inside his brain a long time ago. Dementia is a cruel disease.
I hope your mother makes progress in recovering from her stroke. I know that not all the damage is reversable.. but I hope that with good therapy, you will see some progress over the coming year .
It's so hard watching your parents age, and the reversing of the roles... The transition to taking care of your parents is a hard ego shift. It was very stressful for me. But the harder part was when we decided that the best thing was getting a caetaker for my dad, rather than his living at home..
But in the end .. that is the better choice. He gets 24 hour care, one-on-one from a wonderful woman and her family. He lives with her in her home, and this is her profession. It is us kids' inheratance that we are spending to provide this level of care.. and it is well spent.
Well I have sure rambled on here.. and no, you didn't say anything upsetting.. an I certainly hope I haven't said anything to upset you...
But then again, this isn't an easy subject, is it?
Be well, and I'll keep your mom in my prayers for a continued recovery.
Val
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