I just wanted to share that it happens to working moms, too.
I work in the computer field, and I'm usually the only woman in the department. So I don't get to compare wardrobes much. When I got preggy with my 2nd DS, I became lax about what I was wearing, and of course afterward I was so wrapped up in being a mom to 2 that I also relaxed my standards on hair and makeup.
For me there have been a series of wakeup calls and gradual improvement (and still working on it).
There was the time I ran across someone from my hometown (5 states away) in the grocery store, and worried for a week about what they told my old friends.
There was a day when I realized I was wearing the exact same thing as someone else at work - a guy.
I don't wear golf shirts any more. LOL!
I was in my sister's wedding, and we had our hair and nails done. My DH raved. When I got back, everyone raved. I looked totally different. It wasn't so hard to keep up - actually, a nice hairstyle is easier than making overgrown hair in a ponytail look nice! And it all felt so good. ;-)
Since I moved to another state, I had enjoyed some anonymity for a while. Well, I was at the store the other day and the cashier started asking me about my kids (who weren't with me) - she's their Sunday school teacher. I should have recognized her. I realized I have been here 5 years - people do know me, and I know some folks, too. *I* have just been walking around with blinders on!!
FlyLady.net has influenced me greatly - her reminders to take care of ourselves, be ready for anything, etc.
The biggest difference hasn't been in one area - just a diet, or just changing clothes, or just getting out more. The over-riding factor is:
******* make "myself" a priority in my life*********
When I take care of myself, I am more likely to dress nice, eat right, and be friendly to others.