Hi Amanda,
I wish you all of the best with the new goals you have set. It seems like there is always a breaking point where everything snaps into perspective and all of a sudden you are ready to tackle the goals that have been staring you in the face for so long. I work full time and I have struggled with a lot of the same things that you have. Until I started my current diet in Feb, I had progressively gained weight over the last 8 or 9 years. As that happened, my self esteem progressively got worse. I have always been self conscious about my weight, and as I gained more, I didn't feel like I "deserved" to treat myself anything extra. I hated going shopping because I didn't want to spend money on clothes that were in a large size, plus I hated seeing myself in the dressing room mirrors! I didn't feel like I deserved to get my hair cut, nails done, etc. I think it is all a snowball effect, and just gets worse and worse.
I think by you starting the exercise, it will put everything back in the right direction. You will feel better about yourself, you will be getting in shape, and will start to regain the self-confidence that you once had. The compliments that you receive from others, including your husband will motivate you to keep going and soon it will be a snowball effect in the right direction.
You can do it, I have confidence in you and I can tell that you are at a point to be serious about the whole situation. Good luck and we are here for you!!
;-)
Jenn