We've all experienced the hectic holiday rush that comes upon us this time
of the year. During the holidays, there is shopping, visiting, decorating and
merrymaking to do along with the responsibly of running a household and
caring for our families. Today, mom, dad and kids spend more time away from home,
at work, play, or shopping at the malls and the first thing to get sacrificed
is dinner at home. Cooking at home and sharing dinner with the family,
somehow just doens't make it on our to-do list.
Things were different when I was a kid. The "baby boomer" generation, as we
were called, grew up with close knit family ties, with three generations of
family members sometimes living under one roof. There was a routine to
everything, dinnertime was 6pm sharp, six days a week, with Sunday the only exception
when dinner was served at noon after the family attended Sunday church
services.
It was Papa's desire that our family continue and adhere to these Old World
traditions that he and Nonna brought with them from the old country. And our
family was more than pleased to enjoy the nightly meals prepared by mom and
Nonna.Isolina.
As we raised our glasses high, Papa's words sang out over the dinner table,
"Salute' per chinto anno," his deep, rich voice as hardy and pure as the red
wine he held in his glass.
"Good luck, for a hundred years," his family echoed back.
I remember how my grandfather's face beamed with pride at these joyous
occasions and how our meal never began until each family member had taken their seat
at his grand dinner table. That same, old, dinner table with its cracks and
weakening chairs remains a treasure to me and the memories it evokes, priceless
and everlasting.
Today's experts are finding out what my parents and grandparents already knew
about sharing mealtime, that making family meals a priority is more than
worth the nourishment it brings to the body and soul, but it also sharpens our
mental faculties as well. Consider a recent survey from the National Merit Scholar
ship Corporation. The NMSC profiled National Merit scholars from the past 20
years trying to find out what these stellar students had in common. They were
surprised to find that, without exception, these kids came from families who
ate together three or more nights a week.
Not only can family meals make your kids smarter; spending quality time
together over dinner can also contribute to your children's emotional and spiritual
growth. After all, it's when you're all together sharing the details of your
day that real bonding happens. And kids who feel close to their families are
more likely to take the family's value system to heart.
Years ago, Papa, as head of our family, always gave a few words of
gratitude for the meal we were about to receive; he would thank grandma who prepared
the food for us, and gratitude for the job that paid for it, and sometimes he
added a little practical advice for the family to dwell on. His little ritual
was always a part of our family's holiday meal. And, like most Italian-American
kids, I grew up with an anticipation for this dinner time meal and the
closeness shared with family.
As each family milestone occurred--baptisms, first holy communions,
confirmations, and birthdays, graduations and marriages-- festive dinner tables were
set so that all the family members could partake of the celebratory dinner
ritual. And today, as I sit down at this same, old, table I can't resist the urge
to stroke my hands over its rich woods surface, and to feel all the tiny nicks
and scratches left behind by each passing generation.
At every meal, Grandma's dinner table was covered with platters of her home
cooking I'll always remember the lively chatter and heart-warming laughter that
passed over the table at every meal. It was a reason for celebration just to
be seated all together at Grandma's table. The aroma of her kitchen spices and
slowly simmered spaghetti sauce teased our appetites all day long so that by
dinnertime we were famished. We couldn't wait to indulge in a platter of
handmade noodles and meatballs covered in tomato sauce.
Immediately after dinner it was a family ritual to clear the dishes from the
table and then sit down again to play card games, dominoes or to play the
mysterious and intriguing Quija board. Some of my happiest times were spent at
that table, where we would visit late into the night, sipping on cups of
Grandma's strong espresso and playing board games. Sometimes, we'd just sit quietly
listening to the oldest member of the family spin exciting tales. Other times,
our Grandparents would recall some funny little anecdote about each of their
grand kids.
Recently, I went out shopping for a replacement chair for my beloved but
aging family dinner table, I was told by a sales clerk that dinning room table
sets, as I once knew them, are not as popular as they once were. And that most
new homes don't have a formal dining room. And finding a chair to match my table
would be almost impossible.
It turns out that the salesperson was right about one thing, families aren't
sitting down together at big dinner tables every night, not like they did in
my youth. I decided to do some research on this new trend in family dining and
what I found out really wasn't too surprising. Reasons listed for this new
trend included, conflicting work schedules, no time to cook, don't know how to
cook, or they just preferred to watch television.
According to Tufts University, national studies show that more than 80
percent of parents consider eating dinner with their children very important, but
less than 50 percent actually sit down together on a daily basis.
What's more, these percentages decrease as children get older. Soccer
practice dates, shopping at the malls, homework, and hanging out with friends, take a
toll on family mealtime. Then, too, as children age they become more
independent -- physically, emotionally and financially. Most teens can -- if they wish
-- remove themselves from family either by foot, bike or car. And many teens
and preteens have enough cash to buy fast food away from home.
Things have changed, no doubt about it, In my generation we ate only the
food mom prepared from her kitchen goods. Even if there were shopping malls or
fast food chains my generation of kids never had enough money of our own to eat
there, nor would we ever want to!
Harvard Medical School has documented this new trend in America's eating
habits. In a Harvard study, only 43 percent of more than 16,000 children ate
dinner daily with members of their family. More than half of the 9-year-olds ate
family dinners daily, whereas only about one-third of 14 year-olds did so.
The decrease in family dining has evolved over time as families are pressured
to divide their time and interest into a range of endless sports and school
activities and committee meetings.
I sure hope the sales clerk was mistaken. When he said the big dinning
table is on its way out. I would hate to think that the coming generation is
going to miss out on the fun and enjoyment I knew as a kid growing up in the
1940s and 50s. How we all, sat together around Grandma's big oak dinning table
exchanging stories, and inspirations, as we enjoyed wonderful home cooked
meals and created good eating habits. Like my mother always said: "Out of our
habits we build our character on our character we build our destiny."
About the Author
For over 14 years, Cookie Curci wrote a popular nostalgia column for The Willow Glen Resident. (The Silicon Valley Metro Newspapers...San Jose califonia) www.metroactive.com. She's currently writing a column called "Looking Back" that appears monthly in FRA NOI - a Chicago based newspaper. In additon she writes for "Mature Living" in Toledo, Ohio, "Senior News" in West Virginia and THE WILLOW GLEN TIMES in San Jose. Cookie's stories have also been published in national magazines: True Story, True Romance, Woman's Own, San Jose Magazine,Woman's World, Sons of Italy, PRIMO, Reminisce, I Love Cats, Farm & Ranch, The Family Digest, Grit Magazine and Taste of Home Magazine and San Jose magazine.
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We've all experienced the hectic holiday rush that comes upon us this time
of the year. During the holidays, there is shopping, visiting, decorating and
merrymaking to do along with the responsibly of running a household and
caring for our families. Today, mom, dad and kids spend more time away from home,
at work, play, or shopping at the malls and the first thing to get sacrificed
is dinner at home. Cooking at home and sharing dinner with the family,
somehow just doens't make it on our to-do list.
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