As many parents know from experience, kids will survive
our mistakes. Please don't feel like you have to give in to every demand
your little (or big) ones make regarding meals. Yes, we have to be careful
and watchful about eating disorders. But that doesn't mean letting your children
dictate the menu or mealtime etiquette completely.
Has your child ever:
-
Refused to eat what's served
-
Demanded candy or other "off limits"
treats instead of a nutritious meal
-
Been unable/unwilling to sit at the
table for meals
-
Preferred to walk around the house with
food/drink instead of sitting at the table
-
Gone on "food jags" preferring only
one type of food for days (or weeks!)
-
Fought with siblings at mealtimes
-
Refused to comply with established "table
manners"
Now we all know that these types of
behaviors are very normal and to be expected from young children. While we
can tolerate a certain amount of childish behavior, it sometimes drives us
crazy. Just because it's normal, doesn't mean we have to let it occur
uncontrolled. The idea is to slowly train your kids to have good table manners
and eat balanced meals. Most kids eventually get the idea by watching parents,
teachers and other adults model acceptable eating behavior.
Here are some common childhood eating
concerns and possible solutions for you to try:
Wasting Food
What if you
have a child who constantly helps herself to more than she can possibly eat?
Little bellies fill up faster, but they empty faster, too. Children need
nutritious snacks between meals. Often this problem is caused by a child
who has not had snacks between meals and comes to the dinner table "just
starving" and over indulges. Offering a light snack an hour or two before
meals can help to overcome this problem. Another way to ward off this problem
is to either serve the food yourself or start a "one spoon" rule. Teach your
kids to take only one spoonful of each food they want and then come back
for more if they are still hungry. With the "one spoon" rule, you've eliminated
the temptation to push kids to finish their plates and taught them how to
pace themselves when eating.
Playing with or throwing food
This problem is much more common in very small children who are just
learning to eat solid food. While some exploration should be tolerated, every
parent has a limit. A child who plays with or throws food from the table
or high chair is probably not hungry. The easiest solution is to remove the
food and offer a toy in its place or allow the child to leave the table to
play for awhile. Kids will eat when they are hungry.
Food Strikes/Jags
Sooner
or later nearly every child will try a hunger strike or food jag. Food jags
are very common in toddlers and preschoolers. If your 2-year-old wants peanut
butter and jelly for every meal for a week, it may be easiest to just accommodate
him. However, food jags occasionally signal a food allergy. So, if your child
is constantly craving one type of food, you may want to discuss it with your
pediatrician.
An older child may try a "hunger strike"
for a day or so as a means of punishing you or manipulating to get his/her
way. As difficult as it may be, it is best to refuse to "give in" to the
strike. Your child WILL eat when hungry. Simply offer the food without pleading
or begging. Try not to be alarmed unless your child is not getting fluids
or refuses to eat for more than a few days. Our bodies must have water to
survive. Without it, death can occur in as little as 3 days. If you suspect
your child is not drinking or hasn't eaten for several days, then call your
doctor right away.
Talking more than eating
As
children develop verbal skills, they naturally want to practice them.
Historically, family meals have been the forum for parents and children to
communicate with each other. Unfortunately, this tradition is fading as we
adopt fast-paced lifestyles. Still, many parents do try to maintain some
of this tradition. Because family meals are much more infrequent than they
were 40 or 50 years ago, children do not get as much practice participating
in mealtime conversation. When the family does sit down together, some talkative
children may take advantage of the situation and do more talking than eating.
This can result in very long meals, with cold food. This is another situation
where parents must realize that this child has a greater need for communication
than food at this time. He or she will eat when hungry. Some mealtimes are
more rushed than others because of activities or appointments that must be
kept. Before such a meal, it may be helpful to tell your child that this
meal is not a good time for conversation. If you must do this, make it up
to your little "chatterbox" later with some uninterrupted "talk time".
Slow eating
Again, because
of our fast-paced society, we are often rushed for time. Many kids take their
time eating, much to the frustration of harried parents. This is one area
where we grown-ups need to take our cues from the kids. Slower eating contributes
to a leaner body and faster metabolism... not to mention much more efficient
digestion. However, every family seems to have a "slow-poke" who is always
last at the dinner table because he or she takes too much time. My parents
thought they would solve this problem with me when they created the rule
"last one finished eating washes the dishes". Maybe this will work with your
"slow poke", but it only made me slower because I knew no one was waiting
for me. I still eat very slowly... I guess some of us were just made to eat
slower than others. As frustrating as a slow eater can be, this is one childhood
eating problem that usually can't be fixed. Try to be patient, make him or
her wash the dishes, but try not to berate or punish your little "slow poke".
And take heart-slow eaters are almost always thin!
From that very first meal, we parents
are obsessed with the quantity, variety and quality of the food our children
eat, or don't eat. The best things we can do for our children are to serve
nutritious meals and snacks and model healthy eating habits. Beyond that,
bite your tongue, look the other way and try to RELAX.
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